


A Guy Without A Girl

by stayshinygirl



Category: The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, The Voice, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9080518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stayshinygirl/pseuds/stayshinygirl
Summary: What if Gwen and Blake knew each other before working together on The Voice?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To Anna, thank you.

It’s a sunny day in Los Angeles and Gwen is playing with her three kids in the big garden of her house. She always loved to spend time with her children, playing, running and laughing with them, nothing made her happier, but since her and her ex husband got divorced she finds herself craving for more time with them, especially after those three damn days they have to spend with their dad every week.

She hates to drop them off at Gavin’s but she knows the boys have to see their dad. _At least_ , he is a good dad. He always tries his best to do cool things so the kids would enjoy their time with him but Gwen just can’t wrap her head around the fact that he gained something from their divorce. After all, he is the one who ruined everything and yet, he got money and three days a week with the kids, three days she can’t spend with them.

She is helping Apollo building a sand castle when her phone rings bringing her back to reality. This is her life now, four days with her kids and three without them. She can’t do anything about it.

She gets up after leaving a gentle kiss on his baby boy’s curly hair and goes to look for her phone. She finds it on the table, hidden under some papers. She quickly glances at the screen and read ‘private number’ on it.

_Weird._

“Hello?”

“Hello, am I speaking to Gwen Stefani?”, a female voice asks from the other end of the line.

“Yes, that’s me”, she replies looking at her boys. They didn’t even notice her mum stopped playing with them, too distracted by their games.

“Good. I’m Anna, I’m calling from the NBC Tv Network. Did you read the email we sent last week? I’m sorry we called a day later but things have been pretty busy around here. I hope our delay won’t cause any problem between you and the network. It won’t happen again.” The voice at the end of the phone sounds out of breath, like whoever is speaking is nervous or maybe just running around.

Gwen is confused. “I’m sorry but what are we talking about? I didn’t receive any email and…”

The girl interrupts her. “Oh, I’m sure we sent it but if you didn’t read it it’s not a big deal. We can tell you everything during tomorrow’s meeting.”

“What… what meeting?”

“Oh, right! You didn’t read the email so you don’t know about the meeting!”

 _Oh my god_ , the girl is going to give Gwen a headache.

“Don’t worry, Miss Stefani. I can send you another email or tell you everything over the phone. Do you have anything to write down the informations I’m gonna give you?”

Gwen takes a piece of paper and one of Zuma’s pencils. “Yes, I do. Can you please tell me what is this about? I’m honesty confused right now, I wasn’t expecting this call at all. If it’s for an interview you have to contact my…”

“Oh, no Miss Stefani, it’s not about an interview. It’s about a reality. A _singing competition_ , to be correct. Have you ever watched The Voice, Miss Stefani?”

“Yes, I actually watch the show. But I still don’t understand what is this call about. I’m sorry, but usually networks and companies contact my agents before talking to me directly. How did you get my private number?”

“I’m sorry, I should have said it sooner. Mr Williams gave us your number, I hope it’s not a problem.”

_Mr Williams? Pharrell? What the hell is going on?_

“it’s okay, but please can you tell me why the NBC, or _The Voice_ , is looking for me?”, Gwen asks in exasperation. She wants to go back to play with her kids. She hasn’t seen them in _three days_.

“Yes, sure. The Voice’s producers think that you could be the perfect choice for season 9’s fourth coach. There’s a meeting tomorrow here at the studios, producers and coaches will be here to discuss the upcoming season and especially you.”

“Me?”, Gwen is shocked. Is this some kind of joke? _The Voice? Her?!_

“Miss Stefani? Are you there?”

 _Oh_ , she forgot to reply the poor girl. “Yes, I’m here, I’m sorry. It’s just… wow. Are you sure they chose me? I’m sure I didn’t send any request or anything and…”

“No, no, no, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t apply to be a coach, Miss Stefani. They choose the coaches and for this season, _they chose you_. So, will you be here tomorrow?”

“Uhm, here, _where_?”

“Right! I’m sorry, I forgot to give you the infos. So, the meeting is tomorrow morning, here at the Universal Studios. Stage 12, 10 am. Can I confirm to our producers you will be here?”

She knows she should think about it, she should talk to her agents, especially to Paula, Paula hates when she takes decisions without consulting her first. _Paula is going to kill me_ , she thinks. But she really needs something new, something different, especially after thirteen years of marriage, thirteen years of lies and fights and hiding. She needs something. And this could be it.

Oh, she has to call Todd and see if he can watch the kids for a few hours the following day. And if he can’t she’s sure she can call someone else. She has a babysitter, after all. She could call her. She doesn’t want to, she is not a fan of nannies anymore, but if her brother can’t stay with them, she’ll call her.

Oh, the girl. “Yes, I will be there. Thank you so much for calling me and I’m sorry I didn’t read the email, the last weeks have been crazy. Thanks again!”

“No problem at all, Miss Stefani. I’ll see you tomorrow, have a good day.”

  “Bye.”

She ends the call and stares at the phone in her hand. _Wow_. That was something really unexpected. And _new_. Finally something new.

 

 

Blake is scrolling down his twitter’s timeline when something hits him hard on his head. _What the heck?!_

He quickly turns around and finds Adam and Pharrell laughing together. _Kids_. “Well, good morning guys.”

“Hey Blake, I’m sorry I hit you man. Your head is just so… _hittable_ ”, Adam says and Pharrell throws his head back, laughing again.

He can’t help but chuckles as well. He fuckin’ loves his two colleagues. Thinking about colleagues…

“Hey guys, do you know who’s gonna be the new coach? Carson said they were gonna announce it during today’s meeting but I’m so curious I…”

“Blake, Blake, Blake”, Adam interrupts him, “we know you hope they called some smokin’ hot girl you want to seduce but we both know that won’t happen, and not because the new coach is not hot but because the poor new girl, I’m sure it’s gonna be a girl, will slap you after the second crappy compliment you’ll use with her”, Pharrell is still laughing and Adam hits his little hand in a friendly high five.

Blake rolls his eyes. “Very funny, Adam. And Pharrell, I thought you were on my team, man!”

Pharrell puts his arm around Blake’s shoulders, he has to stay on his tiptoes to do so, and ignores Adam’s _hey_. “Don’t worry, man! Of course I’m on your team but he’s so stupid I just can’t help it.”

Another annoyed _hey_ and both Blake and Pharrell chuckle.

“Hey kids, can’t you all stay on the same team?”, Carson interrupts them. Of course he has to be the most reasonable one of the four of them.

The three coaches turn to look at him and then take a step forward to greet their friend. Carson is a nice, funny guy.

“Hey Carson”, starts Blake, “do you know who the new coach is?”

Carson smiles, of course he knows. “I do, cowboy and actually… I’m not the only one”, he glances at Pharrell and he smiles back.

 _“What?!”_ , screams Adam in a pitchy voice. “You know?! What the heck, man? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Yeah man”, adds Blake, “I thought we were friends?!”

Pharrell opens his mouth to explain the situation to his friends but Carson is faster. “Oh, cmon guys! Of course we all are friends but Mike told us to not tell anyone!”

“Okay, I get it, I do”, Blake says, “but why did they tell Pharrell?”

“They didn’t tell me”, Pharrell finally says, “I told them. I suggested them someone and they thought it was a good idea. And now here we are”, he says glancing at his phone. “And we are late, cmon guys”.

Him and Carson start walking toward the stage number twelve leaving their two shocked colleagues behind them. Adam’s mouth is still open.

“Let’s go, man”, Blake hits him on the shoulder, “let’s find out who the hell is going to work with us”.

 

  
The room is full of people when the boys enter. Mark is already talking to a group of young men about the blind auditions they’ll record in the next days and from the sound of his voice Blake can tell that he’s not happy.

“Finally!”, Mark says looking at the three coaches. “The three stars are here, don’t worry guys, _we weren’t_ waiting for you!”, he adds sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, boss. We had to wait for Blake, you know him…”

Blake angrily glares at Adam but doesn’t say anything. He knows better than cause a scene in front of everyone. He doesn’t hear Mark’s next words, too busy looking around. He tries to see if there’s any new face he doesn’t recognize, maybe the new coach is already here.

“Hey Blake, did you understand?”, Mark asks, maybe not for the first time.

Blake turns to look at him. Oh, everybody is looking at him now. “I’m sorry, Mark, my head is somewhere else today”, he apologies. “You were saying…?”

“I was talking about the new coach. She’ll be here in a few minutes and we don’t want to scare her already, right?”

 _She. A woman_ , Blake thinks. He knew it. They couldn’t have called another man. Three are enough.

“He’ll behave”, Pharrell says, winking at Blake.

Blake doesn’t know why but he can’t concentrate on Mark’s words. He feels like something is bothering him but he doesn’t know what. Maybe all those tweets about Miranda and their divorce. Some people are sure he’s the one who cheated, he’s the one who destroyed his marriage. But it’s not like that. The only thing he did was trying to fix it. But the damage was too deep to be fixed.

Adam hits him on his arm to bring him back to reality, again. Mark is not talking anymore and a young woman is telling him something, something he can’t hear.

“Okay, great”, he says louder, “she’s here. Guys, I’m sure a lot of you know her and please, don’t act like a group of horny teenagers when she enters, she has-“, a ringtone interrupts him.

 _I’m dead_ , Blake thinks. He quickly apologies and takes his phone from the pocket. It’s his lawyer. Damn, he can’t ignore it.

“Blake, could you please answer that damn phone and get the hell out of here?!”, Mark yells, his patience long gone by now.

Blake apologies again and turns to exit from the door behind him. At the same time someone else comes in from the door at the opposite side of the room. He can’t see who it is because Adam shuts the door on his face.

 _Hell of a day_.

He answers to his phone, his lawyer is saying something about his house in LA and Miranda but he wants to go back inside and finally see his new colleague.

"Robert, I’m sorry man, can I call you later? I have an important meeting here at the studios and I can’t miss it, buddy, I’m sorry.” 

“No problem but, hey! This time don’t forget to call me like you did last week, I’m still waiting for that call Blake!”, his lawyer says and Blake chuckles.

He hangs up and puts the phone back in his pocket. He knocks on the door and after a few seconds Adam opens it. Blake looks at him and he notices something is wrong. Adam tries to say something but Mark interrupts him.

“Here he is! Our man! Blake, c'mon man! I want to introduce you to your new colleague and our fourth coach!”, Mark is excited and Blake gently pushes Adam away to see who is standing next to his boss.

A blonde girl is near him but he can’t see her face because she's talking to someone behind Mark. But that hair…

_It can’t be._

He takes some steps towards her but he stops when she turns around to look at him. Their eyes meet and he forgets how to breath. This can’t be true. He must be dreaming. His heart stops when she smiles shyly at him.

Everyone in the room is expecting him to say something nice, to greet the woman, at least, but nothing happens. He’s frozen in place.

The woman doesn’t say anything, she studies the country singer with worried eyes. She surely wasn’t expecting this reaction. Or better, this… nothing.

“Blake?”, she tries cautiously.

He tries to say something but his throat is too dry and the words don’t want to come out. He coughs slightly and tries again. “What… what are you doing here?”

The woman gasps and Blake can feel Adam’s hand on his shoulder. Okay, he could have been nicer but people don’t understand. This is _Gwen Stefani_. This is…

“Wait, wait”, Mark interrupts Gwen before she can reply, “you two know each other?”

Blake closes his eyes for a second. Gwen Stefani is the fourth coach. He doesn’t want to work with her, he doesn’t want to see her almost everyday. He doesn’t deserve all the pain she’s going to cause him all over again.

He opens his eyes. Everyone is still looking at him. He glances at Gwen and he can see that her lip is between her teeth. Some things never change.

“I need some air”, he says looking at Mark. He nods, still wondering what the hell is going on but leaving the questions for later.

Gwen tries to stop him gently touching his arm but Blake takes a step away from her, so fast that people could think her touch burned him.

Blake is facing the door when he speaks again. His voice is cold and deep. “We do know each other”, he feels like everyone is waiting for an explanation so he continues. But no one expects what comes next.

_“We were married.”_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that the Shefani fandom is amazing and I'm really happy I joined it.
> 
> Oh, in my story Blake and Gwen are the same age and Kingston is four years older.  
> Enjoy.

The fresh air hits him on the face like a cold shower. He isn’t dreaming. Gwen Stefani is really the new coach of The Voice. The love of his life is going to work with him, after fourteen years of silence, sadness and hurt. She is back in his life and he has to accept it.

It’s not fair.

Two failed marriages and a lot of anger, this is his life now. He would never have imagined it. This is not what he wanted for him. When he was young he always imagined a beautiful career as country singer, a nice family with two dogs and a ranch in Oklahoma always full of people, friends and love. And even if he has two of those things, a family is what he wants the most. Someone who waits for him to come back home at night and someone to hug first thing in the morning. But right now he doesn’t know if he’ll ever have them.

His grip is tight on the fence in front of the stage as his eyes scan the sky when someone comes out of the stage running and stops a little behind him. He can’t see who it is but he just knows. He can feel her delicate presence and her soft heavy breathing.

“Blake…”, she stops. She doesn’t know what to say, she just ran looking for him without thinking about the consequences. She takes two more steps towards him and waits. Something she’s never done for him before. Wait.

“You knew it”, the coldness of his words sends shivers through her body. “You knew I was one of the coaches, I’m sure, and yet, you accepted to work here.” He turns to look at her. “Why, Gwen? Why?”

The way he says her name always affected her in a positive way, but right now she just wants to run away and hide where him and his angry eyes cannot find her. This is too much.

He waits for her to say something but she doesn’t and he starts to feel a kind of anger he hasn’t felt in a lot of time. The same kind she caused him thirteen years before.

“I don’t understand you, Gwen”, he finally explodes. “I don’t understand what you are doing here, why now? Why this?”, he lifts his hands over his head and she automatically takes a step back. He laughs, an ironic and cynical laugh she doesn’t like. “What? Now you think I’d hurt you?”

She shakes her head, her eyes filled with tears. She needs to say something and soon. Maybe this has been a bad idea after all. Maybe she should go to explain the situation to Mark and refuse the job.

“Blake…”, _no, no, no_ , she sounds too fragile. She wants to seem stronger and her voice just betrayed her. Again. “Blake”, she says firmer this time, “yes, I knew you were one of the coaches but when they called me I accepted because I wanted to do something new, not because I wanted to hurt you again”, he opens his mouth to say something but she stops him, “and I thought this could be the chance to work things out between us.”

He stares at her, eyes filled with incredulity. “What if I don’t want to work things out? What if I didn’t want to see you ever again? Did you think about that? About what I want? You left, you broke up with me and now you want to fix things? It doesn’t work like that, Gwen, the world doesn’t turn around you!”

She is crying now but he tries not to think too much about it because seeing her cry always made him weak.

“I know, but…”, she manages to say before he interrupts her.

“No, Gwen! You don’t know for goodness sake! You left! _You,_ not me! So you don’t know! And now I have to accept your presence here because you wanted to work things out? Who do you think you are?”

She just wants to leave right now but she can’t. His hard but true words are reopening old wounds inside of her, wounds that she thought had been healed a long time ago.

“I asked… I asked you to leave Oklahoma with me”, she murmurs between the sobs. “I asked you to move to Los Angeles but you just kept saying no and I couldn’t wait anymore, I had to leave. That place… those people… they were driving me crazy”, she finishes, her voice only a whisper now.

“They were your people, Gwen, our people! I know you are a city girl now but don’t forget those people are still your people, you were born there, with me! That will never change”, he reminds her, a sad smile on his face.

“You don’t think I know, Blake? You think I suddenly forgot about you or our families and friends the moment I landed here? It’s not like that. But there wasn’t anything for us there! I had to leave that place if I wanted to become someone and look, I did the right thing!”, she is yelling now but she honestly doesn’t even care, they had this discussion too many times and she’s tired. Tired of everything that has happened to her in the last decade.

“So leaving me was the right thing to do, right?”

“I didn’t mean like tha-“

“Oh, but you never mean the things you say, now I remember!”, he blurts out. “I wanted to become someone too, Gwen, and look, I did it! But I always put you before anything else and _I_ would have never sacrificed you over my career! You were more important”, he looks at his feet before speaking again, “… at least for me.”

She can hear her heart breaking into a million pieces at his words. _He thinks he wasn’t important to me?_

“You were everything to me, Blake, _everything_ ”, she says with a broken voice. This is too much. Thirteen years and he still manages to reduce her into a fragile crying little girl.

Her thoughts are interrupted by another of his forced laughs. _Oh_ , he is laughing at her now?

“I’m sorry, Gwen, but I have a hard time believing that, I hope you’ll understand”, she doesn’t like his sarcastic tone so she turns to leave. Their discussion has to end here, they are already too damaged to make things worse.

She takes a first step towards the stage when his voice stops her. “Good, Gwen, do what you do best, leave!”

His words hit her like a knife and she just reacts. She turns again to find him with that smile she always hated on his face. A sneering smirk she just wants to take off from his face. So she does. Without thinking about it twice she lifts her hand and hits him on his right cheek. The slap is unexpected and he finds himself without any word left.

She immediately brings her hands in front of her mouth to cover her loud sobs in vain.

“You don’t understand, don’t you?”, she asks before leaving, her eyes red and puffy because of all the tears she managed to spill in less than five minutes.

He remains there staring at her back while she runs away. He doesn't know why but her words sting more than her slap. What didn't he understand?

 

 

He opens the door of Adam’s house later that day. It looks like the house is empty and he thinks it’s better that way. Adam knows everything about Gwen, he told him a few years before, but he doesn’t want to talk about what happened outside the stage.

He goes to the guest room and looks around. He can’t wait to move back to his house. He’s grateful that he has a friend like Adam, and his wife is amazing with him, as well, but he just wants to be alone. They are great hosts but he needs time to heal from his last divorce and now that he thinks about it, from the first one too.

He lies on his bed and stares at the ceiling. He remembers the first time his eyes landed on Gwen’s slim figure. He always hated proms but he’ll never stop thanking God, and his friends, for convincing him to go to that one.

He remembers the way she was slowly dancing to the notes of an old pop song when he first saw her. He also remembers moving towards her without even noticing, like something was pushing him from behind. He was way taller than her and she had to lift her head to look at him. She smiled in a way he’ll never forget, her eyes lightening up and her cheeks turning red. He showed her his dimples with a shy smile and the world stopped for both of them.

He remembers how they danced together for hours and after that night the two of them became inseparable. At first as friends but Blake will never forget that night in his dad’s ranch, young and alone and with the desire to discover each other in a more intimate way.

He brings his hand to his face and realizes his eyes are full of tears. He doesn’t want to admit it but he misses her in a way he couldn’t think was possible to miss someone. He felt, and _feels_ , things for her he hasn’t ever felt for anyone else.

Even today, when he saw her thirteen years later, he found himself looking at her in a such reverent way that has scared him as hell. It’s not possible that after the pain, the years and the distance he is still in love with her.

He is playing with his curls when he hears the noise of a door being shut. He reluctantly gets up and walks downstairs. Adam and Behati are back from the supermarket and he smiles at them once he enters the kitchen.

Behati turns around to look at him with a sad smile, it’s pretty clear that Adam already told her everything that happened a few hours before.

“How are you feeling, Blakey?”, she asks in a sweet voice, her hand slowly caressing his face in the same exact spot where Gwen had hit him earlier.

He smiles back at her trying to reassure her but he is not sure he succeeded. “I won’t say that I’m okay ‘cause I know you two will never believe me”, he winks at Adam, “but I’ll be fine soon, okay?”

Behati is still worried, he can see that, and Adam nods at him because he knows his friend has the strength to fight every problem in his life. Not that Gwen is a problem, but he is sure the two of them will find a way to work things out. At least he hopes so.

“Do you have plans for dinner, Blake?”, the woman asks after a few seconds of silence. She goes back to the grocery shopping bags waiting for his answer.

“I think I’ll just skip dinner and go out, Pharrell texted me before and asked me if we wanted to meet for a drink, I think he wants to apologize or something”, explains Blake.

“Man, it’s not his fault!”, says Adam, “I’m sure he didn’t even know about you two!”

“Hey, I know, okay? That’s what I think as well but I want to be sure he knows I’m not blaming him or anything”, Blake walks towards Behati and quickly hugs her. He does the same with Adam and then goes back upstairs to get ready.

Behati can finally stop faking and she turns to look at her husband, her eyes filled with worry. “Are you sure he’ll be okay? He just got a divorce and now Gwen is back and…”

Adam interrupts her with a sweet kiss on her lips. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, he’s a strong man.”

 

 

Later that night Blake and Pharrell are in a nice bar near Adam’s place. Pharrell is drinking his coke and looking concerned at Blake. “Man, I know I already said it but I’m sorry, I thought you didn’t even know her!”

Blake smiles at his friend and shakes his head. “It’s not your fault, okay? It’s just a coincidence and I’m not blaming you, believe me.”

“So… married, uh?”, he finally asks and Blake laughs. He’s been waiting for this question all night long.

“Yeah, unbelievable, right? We are so different now but I swear, she was a hell of cowgirl”, replies Blake and Pharrell laughs at the thought of Gwen dressed as a cowgirl.

“Wow, man, I can’t picture her like that, she’s so stylish and into the fashion’s world now, I honestly can’t believe it. I mean, I know she's not from the city but… wow.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t share a lot about her past, right?”, he asks and Pharrell shakes his head. “She always… had something against the fact that we lived away from the city, she loved Oklahoma and I think she still does, don’t get me wrong, but she was so sure she wouldn't have had success if she remained there so… she left”, he explains sadly.

“I’m sorry, man”, Pharrell tries to comfort him touching his shoulder. “For how many years you two have been married?”

“Almost six, we got married when we were 27. I thought she was the one, you know?”

“You don’t think that anymore?”, his friend asks curiously.

“Phar… We won’t go there tonight”, he replies after a small chuckle.

“Okay, okay”, Pharrell lifts his hands in apology, “forget what I asked.”

But Blake can’t forget the question because it’s what he’s been asking himself all day long. What if she is back in his life for a specific reason?

 

 

At the same time Gwen is tucking her boys in for the night. Zuma is still talking about the movie they just watched and she tries to listen so hard to him but she is so tired she just wants to sleep.

“Zuma, baby, it’s late”, she says. Her middle one looks at her with his big brown eyes and nods, finally whispering a goodnight to his mum and looking for a comfortable position to sleep.

Gwen goes to check on Kingston next and finds him staring at the ceiling of his room. “Hey, baby boy, why aren’t you sleeping?”, she asks sitting on his bed.

“I’m not a baby anymore, mum, I’m thirteen”, he reminds her annoyed by the nickname his mum just used.

“You are right, you are a little man now but you’ll always be my baby boy, like your brothers, okay?”, she explains caressing his face. “Now, what’s bothering you?”

“Mum, why didn’t my dad want me?”

Gwen stops breathing for a few seconds. She didn’t see this coming. “Who told you that?”

“Nobody. I was just thinking about it the other day when we were at Gavin’s.”

“Wait”, she interrupts his son, “did Gavin tell you this? Did he do something to you, King?”

“What?! No, mum, no!”, the thirteen year old shakes his head, “he’s nice with me, he acts with me like he acts with Zuma and Pollo and he always asks me to call him dad”, he says.

Gwen sighs with relief. “Then what, baby?”

He ignores the pet name and continues. “I’m older now and I want to know. I want to know why he didn’t want me and left us.”

“Baby… your dad wanted you, I’m sure. It’s just… he didn’t know about you, you understand?”, she tries to explain. But it’s not easy to tell your son you didn’t have the courage to tell his dad that you were pregnant.

“Yes but why didn’t he know?”, he asks.

“Because sometimes… sometimes adults make stupid mistakes and they don’t have the courage to fix them. But I promise you, your dad really wanted a kid and I’m sure he would have loved you.”

Kingston looks relieved. “So… we can tell him now? I mean, we can look for him and tell him I’m his son? Maybe he would still be happy about me!”

He looks so radiant she can’t tell him no. “Yes, we could”, she says then and her son seems happy with that answer.

“Okay, goodnight, mum, I love you”, he says after dropping a kiss on her cheek.

She looks at him lying his head on the pillow and then stands up to leave. When she arrives to her bedroom she finds her little one asleep on her bed. His curls are everywhere on his pillow and he looks adorable with his mouth slightly open and his little hand on his belly.

She gets ready to go to sleep and finally gets into bed, Apollo automatically curling against her. She caresses his back and thinks about the conversation she just had with Kingston.

He wants to know his dad and she can’t deny that to him. He is thirteen and he has every right to finally know.

Blake is already mad at her and she doesn’t want to think how he’ll react when… Blake. Damn, just thinking about him makes her heart stop and ache.

She moves trying to not wake her son and reaches behind her for her phone she left on the nightstand. She unlocks it and open her messages. _I wonder if I still have his number,_ she thinks. She types Blake and finds a number she hasn't used in ages. _Maybe he changed it?_

She tries anyway.

  _Do you want me to quit?_

She sends it before she can change her mind and waits for a reply, wondering if she will ever actually get one. She does, only two minutes later.

_No._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay. Here's the new chapter, enjoy it.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you An, only 16 days left.

She hasn’t seen him in two weeks. The wait is killing her but she doesn’t have the courage to text him again. She’s happy with the reply to the first message she sent him and she honestly doesn’t want to push her luck, his message was so unexpected she still can’t believe she really received it.

Finally, the wait is over. Every time she visited the studios the past weeks he was never there. But today she is sure she’ll see him since they start filming the blind auditions.

Her hands are shaking when she stops her car in front of stage number twelve. She tries to calm herself down taking two deep breaths but it doesn’t seem to work. What should she tell him? And how can she approach him? _Hey, hi Blake, I’m Gwen, the woman who broke your heart and now I’m back into your life and ready to give us another chance but it looks like you hate me, so…_

Apollo’s _mama_ brings her back to reality. She had to bring him with her because her little one doesn't want to stay with his dad often, like his brothers do.

“We are here, baby boy”, she says looking at him while he struggles in his car seat. “Remember what I told you, ‘Pollo, you have to be a big good boy today because mum has to work, okay?”, she continues, taking her phone and her bag.

Gwen gets out of her car and goes to the other side to free her baby from his baby chair. Once she lifts him in her arms and closes the car, she keeps talking to him about her role on the show while he plays with her ear. He’s such an affectionate and sweet baby boy.

Things are chaotic inside of the stage and her kid seems to not be a fan of the loud noises the staff are making. Okay, she is a little stunned as well, she has never seen this place so full of people.

“Don’t worry sweetie, these people are only working, okay?”, she keeps murmuring into Apollo’s ear as he tightens his grip on her.

She walks towards Mark’s office greeting some people she recognizes from the previous meetings during the past weeks. She already likes this place, everyone has been nice and friendly with her and she can’t wait for the competition to start, she is sure she’ll have a lot of fun.

She knocks on Mark’s door and waits. When the door opens she stops breathing for a second, even Apollo understands that something is wrong.

Of course Blake had to be in the room in that moment. It couldn't be someone who is happy to see her. Nope. It had to be the 6.5 feet tall cowboy. He had to be the one to open the door and stare at her and her child until Mark calls for them to come inside.

“Blake”, she finally says, a small smile on her lips. Apollo hides his face in her neck at the same time, he’s never seen a man so tall.

“Gwen”, he replies, not smiling but with a softer tone than the last time they talked to each other.

Time freezes again and Mark decides to do something about it. He moves towards Gwen and hugs her in a friendly way. He already loves this woman and her strength. Her passion about everything she does is overwhelming and she’s already charmed everyone at the stage with her new ideas and willingness.

“I was waiting for you and oh! Who is this little monster?”, he asks in a sweet voice, ruffing Apollo’s curls. “Your hair is so cool, little man!”, he says then and Apollo turns his head towards him, smiling proudly.

“Hanks!”, he exclaims and both Gwen and Mark chuckle.

Blake clears his throat and they turn their heads to look at him. He avoids Gwen’s eyes and points at the door with his thumb. “Uhm, can I go, Mark?”

Mark goes back to his desk and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Blake, but I have to talk to you two together before you go”, he explains and Blake doesn’t do anything to hide his annoyed snort.

Gwen is taken aback by the fact that he is so against spending time with her but she honestly kinda expected it. She doesn’t think a single message could change things between them.

“Please, sit”, Mark urges and they both take a seat not looking at each other, Apollo calm and quiet on his mum’s legs.

“This is Apollo, by the way, my little one”, she explains caressing her son’s back, “I’m sorry I had to bring him, he didn’t want to stay with his dad today.”

“Don’t worry, Gwen, I understand. And my assistant loves kids, her name is Anna, I think you know her, I’m sure she’ll be happy to spend some time with this one, right Apollo?”

“I’m ‘Pollo!”, the kid says in a cute voice and her mum is so proud of him she can’t hide it. She kisses his cheek and tugs a strand of curly hair behind his ear.

“That was so good, baby boy, Mama is so proud of you”, she says to him and his smile becomes bigger, showing everyone his little teeth.

Mark chuckles again and asks Gwen about her two other kids. In the meantime, Blake looks at Gwen and her kid with careful eyes, he notices the way she gently moves her legs to lull her baby and the way her hands have a gently but tight grip on his little hips. She is so natural with him that his heart melts with love and regret. And she is stunning, with her kid she looks even more beautiful than the usual, as if her kid’s presence would make her a better person. She looks like a proud and strong mother and it’s driving him crazy. They could have had this together, they could…

“Hey, man, are you with us?”, Mark interrupts his thoughts making Blake look at him.

“Yes, I’m sorry, you were saying?”, he asks ignoring Gwen again.

“Okay, so, I know things between you are… complicated, and I’m sorry Blake that you haven’t been warned of her new role as coach but I didn’t know about this… situation”, he explains.

“Mark”, Blake says suddenly, “it’s true, there was something between us and our relationship is not very friendly but it doesn't matter now, we broke up a long time ago and that’s the past and it’s no longer important, okay?”

Gwen gasps at his words but tries to compose herself quickly. _It’s no longer important…_

Mark is surprised too but he doesn't show it. Wow, Blake could have been a little bit nicer but he can’t say anything about it. He sees Gwen’s eyes filling with tears behind her son’s curls as she tries to hide.

“Uhm, okay, perfect then”, he intervenes winking at Apollo who is looking at him worried, like he could sense his mum’s discomfort. “Gwen, do you want to say something?”

The woman shakes her head and keeps staring at her feet.

“We’ll start in two hours guys, see you later”, he finally says and waits for Gwen to get out from the room before speaking again. “I expect better from you, Blake. I want things to be just fine or I’ll have to replace her.”

Blake nods and shakes his boss’ hand in a friendly way before walking out. He sees her in the middle of the room where she is talking to Mark’s assistant. He walks towards them pushed by the guilt that it’s eating him alive. He shouldn't have said what he said. He just wanted to reassure Mark but it looks like he only made things worse.

He approaches them in silence and without being noticed but Apollo points at him and hides behind his mum’s leg before he can say something.

Gwen looks at him and kneels next to Apollo. “Hey, baby boy, don’t be scared, I know he is tall and doesn't talk a lot but he is a friend of mommy, okay?”, she tries to reassure him and her baby boy nods but she can see that he's not completely sure about the tall guy.

“Can I talk to you, Gwen?”, he asks after smiling to Anna. The girl understands and excuses herself before leaving.

“Yes, uhm, can we go to my car? I forgot Apollo’s other clothes, I need them in case of emergency”, she replies nervously, looking everywhere but at him.

He nods and follows her out of the studios and through the parking. Apollo is walking near his mum, holding her hand, and he finds the scene in front of him extremely cute. He already likes the little boy.

Gwen stops in front of a SUV, which he assumes it’s her car. “Did you have to tell me something?”, she asks opening the front door. Apollo jumps in the car immediately and Blake chuckles at the boy’s vivacity.

He plays with his fingers thinking about something right to say. “I just wanted to apologize, for what I said earlier. I didn’t want to hurt you or diminish what we had”, he explains, “I just wanted to reassure Mark and tell him we can act civilly and work together.”

Gwen is facing him now, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “But can you really do that, Blake?”

“You have to understand me, okay?”, he is losing his temper again. “I go to work and I find my first wife in front of me, after thirteen years of silence, after what happened between us, after things ended in the way they did!”, he runs a hand through his curls and sighs.

“You think I don’t know that, uh? I’m going to tell you this for the last time, Blake. I was there too. I suffered like you did!”, she started yelling without even noticing but Apollo’s crying interrupts her.

She reaches for his kid who is still inside of the car and he jumps in her arms. She murmurs sweet words to him that Blake can’t hear but he’s sure she is trying to calm him down, saying that everything is fine and damn, now the kid will always be scared of him, he made his mum cry in front of him, for goodness sake!

“Gwen, listen…”

She interrupts him lifting a hand. “Blake, please, we can’t fight in front of him and honestly, I’m tired of this. I asked if you wanted me to leave but you said no so, what do you want me to do? This is my job too now, we’ll spend a lot of time together and you can’t just act like I don’t exist because I do and I’m here!”

Blake is stunned. He is looking at her and doesn't know what to say. She is right, he knows she is, he just can't forgive her yet. And he doesn't know if he ever will. But he should at least try and act like an adult.

“You are right”, he exhales, Gwen looks at him from behind her long eyelashes. Her eyes look wet but he can’t see any tear. “I don’t want to fight either, I came out here with the intention to say something nice but I failed, again.”

He takes a step towards Gwen and her son. “I want to try and be a good coworker to you, at least that. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, to be honest, but I want this season of The Voice to be amazing like the last ones, okay?”, he extends his hand to her and waits.

She first looks at him and then at his hand. She is not completely satisfied with what he said but she can live with that. At least for now.

She shakes his hand and remains astonished by what she feels. His grip is tight but sweet and she finds herself craving for more. She missed this. His hand, his touch, his strength. His fingers are calloused but soft around her hand and his thumb is caressing the back of it. She doesn’t want to let it go just yet.

“Uhm”, he finally says, feeling like hours have passed and not only a few seconds, “I should go.”

Gwen retracts her hand and smiles shyly. Blake smiles back at her and she feels like things are finally going for the right way.

“I’ll see you later”, he says and before turning around he remembers about the little one. “Hey, cowboy”, he calls Apollo and the kid looks warily at him. “I’ll be good with your mum, okay?”

Apollo shows him a little smile and then points at Blake’s hat. The man is confused but then he understands. He takes his hat off and puts it on the baby’s head.

Gwen tries to say something but Blake stops her. “Don’t worry, I have plenty at home. And it looks so good on you, cowboy.”

Apollo’s grin is bigger now and it makes Blake incredibly happy. “I’m a cowboy”, the kid says and both his mum and her friend laugh. Blake’s presence is already influencing one of her kids’ life and she finds herself happy about it. Blake would be an amazing dad.

If only he knew…

 

 

It looks like things are finally going for the right verse. They filmed the first three episodes and Gwen is loving every part of her new job. Her coworkers are amazing people, she is stunned by the competitors’ talent and a lot of them chose her over the other coaches and that left her in shock. She knows she is not in competition with the other three and she doesn't want that, she just couldn't believe anyone wanted her as coach!

This experience is helping her heal from the last divorce and from everything bad that has ever happened to her. These people and this place are making her feel better and she’ll never stop thanking Pharrell and Mark for giving her this incredible opportunity.

Even things with Blake are going okay. They talk and laugh like everyone and one day during a break he hugged her for apparently no reason and her heart stopped beating for what seemed like an eternity.

She feels more confident about their “relationship” and she decides to take some courage and ask him out, when the right opportunity arrives, of course.

It does a month after their first meeting, when she is ready to go home after a long day at the studios and finds him standing behind his car in the parking. He’s at the phone and he doesn’t seem to be happy.

She waits until he closes the call and then approaches him. “Hey, is everything alright?”

Blake looks at her and rubs a hand through his curls. “My car is broken”, he says and she thinks this could finally be her chance.

“Why don’t you leave it here? It’s late now and I don’t think someone would come here and repair it at this hour”, she glances at the time on her phone, “and I can drive you home. How would you like it if we stopped at a nice place and eat something?”, she asks hopefully.

He looks at her in a way she can’t understand, like he already knows he's going to hurt her.

“I’m sorry Gwen but…”, he rubs his neck and looks at his feet for a second, “I already called someone and…”

She stops him shaking her head. “It’s okay, don't worry and…”

A car stops near them and Blake looks at her with concerned eyes. She turns towards the car and sees a young woman coming out from the front door. The girl smiles at Blake and hugs him once she’s near enough.

“I’m sorry, babe, I tried to be as fast as possible but you know, the traffic is crazy at this time of the day”, she explains caressing his arm and ignoring Gwen completely.

_Babe?!_

Blake doesn’t know what to do. He glances at Gwen and sees her put the pieces together. But he can’t read her expression. Anger? Hurt? Indifference? He decides to say something. “Uhm, Mary, this is Gwen, my coworker”, he points at Gwen and smiles without getting anything in return, “uhm, Gwen, this is Mary, my…”

“I’m his girlfriend”, she points out, smiling at Gwen and taking Blake’s hand in hers.

Gwen shakes the girl’s other hand and shows a weak smile to the couple. “It’s really nice to meet you, Mary”, she says and Blake knows she’s lying. “I need to go now, I see you are in good hands and don't need a ride home anymore, Blake.”

“Oh, yes, we had plans anyway, right, Blakey?”, the girl says without giving the man the chance to speak, again.

Gwen just hates the way the girl is acting, like she already owns him, like she knows him since he was a high school student. But she doesn’t. Gwen does, not her.

The rockstar glances at Blake for the last time before turning around, ignoring what he is telling her, and trying to stop the tears from falling. Damn him.

She drives home, her heart broken again, her hands shaking and her eyes full of tears.

  
It was too good to be real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late but last week has been crazy. I'm sorry.  
> Enjoy the new chapter.

“Gwen! Gwen, wait!”

She was walking towards the dressing room when he saw her. She’s been ignoring him for weeks now. He saw things changing the day after she met Mary. She started pushing him away, she barely talked to him during the breaks and she never mentioned that dinner together again.

He really wanted to say yes that night, but damn him and when he called Mary and told her his car was broken. He knows he’s not in love with his girlfriend but he really needs someone to keep him company right now. After he moved back to his house, he found himself alone every night, without Adam, without his ex wife, without Gwen.

Nobody noticed the change in their behavior this time. She didn't want people to start talking about them again. When their colleagues are around she is the same Gwen, always ready to ask him for opinions, to make jokes about him and to team up with him against Adam. But when they are alone… well, they are never alone now, she always finds an excuse to escape from him and from the talk they both know they should have.

She shouldn't be jealous and she knows that, but she just can’t help it. She feels like he betrayed her trust when he chose to not tell her he had a girlfriend and what hurt her the most is that she really thought she had a chance with him. He let her believe it.

But she can’t keep acting like he doesn't exist when they are not working or when they are with other people. She needs to find the courage to talk to him and she needs to do it now.

She stops three or four feet away from the dressing room and waits. He’s behind her in a second and she is not ready to face him but she tries anyway because this situation is killing her. _He is killing her._

He touches her arm to get her attention and she uses all her powers to ignore the shivers that run through her back. Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? Because she is sure she hates him for hurting her, but she is also sure she loves him… because she never really stopped loving him.

“What?”, she snaps turning around as he takes a step back. “I’m sorry, but I’m late. Can we talk another time?”, she tries again, nicer this time.

“No, we can’t, Gwen”, she is looking at him in disbelief, “because next time I’ll ask you to talk you’ll find another pathetic excuse to avoid me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”, oh, oh, she’s angry now and he can see that.

“Listen, can we go somewhere and talk like two adults? Like two friends?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Blake”, she replies crossing her arms in front of her chest, “won’t your girlfriend be jealous?”

“I should have told you about her, Gwen, I’m sorry, and I understand that it could be weird because you are my… _ex_ and I’m with her now but I can assure you that it’s okay if we want to spend some time together and work things between us like you told me last month.”

She looks right into his shining blue eyes and just can’t tell him no. She exhales before smiling at him. “Okay. I have time for a quick lunch and honestly, I’m starving!”

 

 

He takes her to a nice restaurant near the studios, he finds them the back corner table and he takes the chair back for her to sit down.

She looks at him blushing slightly, he smiles at her and she feels like a teenager again, with him, at their first date. Such a beautiful night.

“Are you thinking about it too?”, he asks and she looks at him, her eyebrows furrowed, “uhm, about the first time we did this, the first date”, he explains.

She blushes a little more. “Yes… everything was so perfect and so natural between us, sometimes I miss it”, she admits, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.

“Sometimes I wish you never left.”

“Don’t go there Blake, please, not today.”

“No, no”, he interrupts her. “I meant… if I could go back, I’d do everything like we did, all over again. I wish you hadn’t left because I miss what we used to have too. It was so simple and so… I don’t know how to say it. Like it was meant to be, you know? I’ve never felt what I felt for you for anyone else. It’s like I can’t love anyone else like I… like I used to love you. It’s like you are the only one and you will always be.”

Tears are running down her cheeks but she doesn't care. His honesty left her speechless. She was expecting a talk about his girlfriend and how happy they are together. She wasn’t expecting… this.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you cry”, he apologies, his hands are sweating and he feels like he can’t say anything right when he's with her.

“No, no”, she clears her throat, looking for something to say, something that doesn't sound too stupid after his beautiful words. “I think these are, uhm, happy tears. You just… this is the first time you talk about our past without getting angry.”

He opens his mouth to say something but the waiter interrupts them. “What can I bring you?”

 

 

After all, they spend a nice time. He eats a hamburger and tries to convince her to take a bite but she refuses, admitting that she decided to stop eating meat some years before. He’s in shock. She’s always been a big fan of meat and hamburgers. So she eats a salad and he jokes about the fact that she’s too thin and should eat a little more. He understands he pushed a painful button when she stiffs in her chair. He asks her about it and she tells him about her ex husband and the way he used to criticize her and everything she did. She tells him about her last marriage and he shares some of the reasons why he and Miranda divorced. It’s the first time they talk like this about their present lives, without yelling, without crying, without getting mad.

It’s nice. And Blake feels like he’s falling for her all over again. He smiles every time she forgets to correct her country accent, every time she touches her hair without noticing and he just wants to touch it too, just to see if it really is as soft as it looks.

And he feels anger when she talks about Gavin and all the times he made her feel ugly, or fat, or not enough. She is beautiful and she is more than enough. Always been.

“He was an idiot. He is an idiot. Whoever has the courage to leave you, is an idiot. Trust me.”

She smiles at him in a way that makes his toes curl. Her eyes are so grateful and he just wants to kiss that grin off her face. She’s so beautiful, _oh god._

She studies him before speaking softly, her words just a whisper. “I learnt that leaving is always a stupid thing to do.”

He stares at her, she is looking right into his eyes and he finds the courage to not look away. Then he smiles at her and she smiles back and everything is so naturally beautiful that he doesn't want to ruin the moment saying something. He stays in silence and puts his hand on the table, near hers.

Some minutes later the waiter arrives at their table with the bill. He finds them like this, a comfortable silence is filling the air, their fingers intertwined on the table.

 

 

“I don’t know what to wear!”

She laughs, her phone threatens to fall from the grip between her head and her shoulder. “Blake, it’s your party! You should know what to wear!”

“Yes but… I don’t usually throw this kind of parties!”, he explains. “What are you gonna wear?”

She wants to ask him why he doesn’t call his girlfriend but they avoided the topic during the last week and things are going too good between them to be ruined right now. “Oh, you don’t want to wear what I’m wearing, trust me. You’d need to shave your legs.”

He laughs, a beautiful and deep laugh that hits her like a pleasant hot shower. “You are right. Okay then, I’ll see you tonight and I think I’ll just wear my pjs.”

“Blake!”

He made her laugh, that’s all he wanted. “Just kidding, sunflower. See you later.”

He hangs up and she notices she stopped breathing. _Sunflower._ He called her sunflower. He hasn't called her like that in years.

“Mum! Can you help me with this maths problem?”, King yells from the kitchen and she shakes her head before laying her phone on the table. She hurries towards the kitchen still thinking about the phone call she just had. Wow. Okay, she shouldn't think too much about it and getting her hopes up.

_Calm down, Gwen. He didn't meant to call you Sunflower. Calm down. He was just distracted. It won’t happen again._

 

 

But it happens. Some hours later. She just arrived at Blake’s place with Pharrell and his wife and they are looking for the host. The house is full of people. This is her first time in his house but Pharrell tells her that it looks different since the last time he visited. Blake changed almost everything when Miranda left and this is his _hey I’m back stronger than before but without a wife and with a new house_ party.

“Hey, man!”, Blake shouts and walks towards them with Adam and his beautiful wife. “I’m glad you and Helen made it”, he says hugging them. He turns around then and looks at Gwen. “Hey, Sunflower!”

Gwen winces and looks at their friends, Adam is smiling and Pharrell winks at her. “I see you decided to wear something that you don’t usually use to sleep”, she says and accepts the hug that he is carefully giving her. _He smells so good._

“Yeah but I didn’t shave my legs, don't worry”, he winks at her and she swears she feels her legs trembling. _Get a grip, Gwen._

 

 

Blake’s party is a good one. Not some fancy Hollywood thing. Just a lot of friends, laughs and good food. She is sipping her drink when Behati approaches her with a smirk on her face.

“So, you and Blake, uh?”

“Me and Blake, what?”

Behati chuckles and is about to say something else but Gwen is faster. “He has a girlfriend, Bee.”

“A girlfriend who is not here”, the model specifies. “Is it me or he called you… uhm, Sunflower?”

“Yeah, that’s… he used to call me like that when we were married. And he hasn't called me like that in years. Uhm, before this morning.”

“What?!”, Behati looks at Gwen and the singer blushes. “So, he is back to use pet names with you, you went out for lunch last week, yes, Adam told me, and now you want me to believe that there’s nothing?”

“We are just… friends, I guess. I told you, he has a girlfriend, Bee. I even met her.”

“Okay, okay”, Behati lifts her hands in an apologetic way. “But what if they break up?”, and she is back to action.

“I don’t know”, exhales Gwen, “I don’t want to push my luck, you know? I feel like this is the best I can get from him and I think it’s enough, may-“

“What is enough?” Gwen jumps and almost spills the drink she has in her hand. Behati laughs before smiling softly at her husband who is standing near Blake, of course.

“The drink. I mean, I had enough”, the blonde woman says and her friend nods to help her.

“Oh, okay”, Blake says, touching Gwen’s arm gently. “Do y’all want to see the rest of the house? You are the only people that haven't seen it yet.”

 

 

After the tour of the house Adam and Behati leave like other guests and Blake walks them to the door. Gwen is with Pharrell and Helen when her friend’s phone interrupts them. There’s some problem with their son and the nanny and they have to leave.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll call a cab or something.”

“Are you sure, Gwen?”, Helen asks but Gwen can see that the woman is worried and can’t wait to go home to her baby. It’d be the same for her.

“Yes, really.”

They leave after explaining Blake the situation and one and half hour later he and Gwen are the only people left. _Great._

“I think I’ll call a cab”, she says and Blake shakes his head at her.

“No way, Gwen, I’ll drive you home. It’s late and… please, just let me do it.”

She can’t say no that tone of voice. She really can’t. So she nods and waits for him to change into something more comfortable before walking towards his car and getting on the passenger side.

The ride home is filled with a comfortable silence until Gwen can’t resist anymore and asks what she had wanted to ask all night long.

“So, why wasn't Mary at the party? I thought things were serious between you two.” She bites her lip and waits for him to answer. She is not hoping they broke up. Uh, uh. No.

He keeps looking at the road in front of him. “We, uhm… things are not going very good between us. We had a fight yesterday. I told her to come anyway but she didn't so, I guess that’s it.”

“That’s it? You should call her. Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe she just needed some time.” What is she doing? Is she really helping him to solve his problems with her girlfriend? What the hell?

“I thought you didn't like her”, Blake says, quickly glancing at her. “It’s just… I don’t think she really is what I want right now.”

“Oh.” She really wants to say something else but it’s like words are stuck in her throat. And what is she supposed to say anyway? _You are right, I really didn’t stand that bimbo and I’m happy you two had a fight so I can jump on you as soon as the opportunity arrives?_ No, definitely not.

“How are the kids?”, he asks bringing her back to reality.

“They are okay. Just getting used to the divorce and the two lives they have to live, you know.”

“I really wanted a kid. But Ran… I don’t know, maybe it’s better like this.”

Gwen looks at him, she lies a hand on his knee and squeezes it. “I’m sure you’d be a great dad.”

 

 

“So, uhm, thank you so much for the ride. And oh, the party was amazing”, she smiles at him and plays with the keys in her hand.

“No need to thank me”, he smiles back showing her his dimples. Damn, she loves them.

“And, uhm, I-“

Okay, she didn’t see this coming. His lips are on hers, soft and sweet and oh, amazing. Her keys hit the floor and her hands fly automatically towards his curls and the moan he releases when she touches them sends a shiver that from her belly ends directly in her core.

He gently pushes his tongue through her parted lips and she can only accept it, accept the heat and the attention that his tongue is giving to hers. It’s her turn to moan and he is like attracted by the sound, he grabs her hips with his hands and gently caresses her covered skin with his thumbs.

The lack of air forces them to part and Blake moves his mouth towards her delicious naked neck but she stops him grabbing his hair a little bit firmer.

“Blake…”

He sighs and leaves a quick kiss on the base of her neck. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s… it’s better if you go.”

“Yes, uhm. Goodnight, Sunflower.”

She looks at him walking away with her eyes full of tears.

“Goodnight…”, she murmurs but she is sure he can’t hear her. “I love you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "to the hottest date here tonight"  
> Enjoy.

She can’t deny that the kiss left her in shock. But in a positive way. She doesn't know what it’s gonna happen between them but she can’t stop smiling when she takes her dress off and changes into her pajamas.

Her kids are at their dad’s and she just hates being alone in her big house. The bed is cold when her back hits it and she wishes she didn't stop Blake from taking things further for just a second. But he has a girlfriend and she's totally against cheating. Her ex husband cheated on her and that’s something she’ll never forgive him for. And she’s pretty sure Blake thinks the same about cheating since he told her that Miranda cheated on him as well.

She takes her phone and thinks about texting him. But something is blocking her and she knows it’s the fear of getting hurt again. She puts it back on the nightstand and finds a comfortable position to sleep. She closes her eyes and falls asleep some minutes later.

The smile never leaves her lips.

 

 

It’s only seven in the morning when the ring of his phone wakes him up. He rubs his eyes and reaches for his phone with a hand. What the heck.

“Adam”, he murmurs, his voice sleepy and deep, “I have the day off.”

“What the fuck did you do, man?!”

He has to pull the phone off his ear, Adam is literally yelling and he just woke up, it’s early and he went to sleep late. And he has the day off! Why is Adam calling so early and screaming with his pitchy voice he can’t stand, especially in the morning?!

“I thought you had a fucking brain! Is this some revenge against Miranda? She cheated on you so you can sleep around while you have a girlfriend?!”, the rockstar continues.

“Adam. What the fuck are ya talkin’ about?”, his southern accent is stronger than usual in the morning and he’s also getting mad and he doesn’t give a damn about his accent when he is angry.

“Where are you?”, his friend asks, his voice lower this time.

“I’m in my fuckin’ bed, Adam. I told ya, I was sleeping ‘cos I have the day off.”

“Oh, sorry, buddy. But you need to get up and bring your country ass over here at the studios. There are pics, Blake.”

“Pics of what?”, the country singer rubs his eyes again and moves the sheets off his body to get up. He walks towards the kitchen. He needs a cup of coffee now.

“Of you kissing Gwen Stefani, dude. I just arrived here and everyone is talking about it. They are all over the internet.”

This is some kind of nightmare. Maybe he’s still sleeping and this is a dream. There are pics of him kissing Gwen. It was just a kiss. Well, he thought about asking her to invite him inside but she stopped him before things became too much so he didn’t cheat on Mary, right? But he thought about it so he’s guilty anyway, right?

“Shit.”

“Shit, indeed, man”, Adam says, “what were you thinking? And was it just a kiss or…?”

“What? No, man. We only kissed but then she told me we couldn't do it and I left”, he explains. His coffee is forgotten on the kitchen’s counter as he tries to get dressed as fast as he can while he holds his phone with his right hand.

“Hey, there’s only two pics of you two kissing in front of her house so I couldn't know that you didn't sleep with her, okay? And honestly, I love Gwen but I’m glad she stopped you. You don’t do this, Blake.”

The country singer sighs, his friend is right. “I know, I know. It’s just… I’ll fix everything okay? Don’t worry.”

Adam nods but then remember Blake can’t see him. “I’ll wait for you here, man.”

 

 

He thinks about the kiss during the entire ride to the studios. The way she responded to it… he knows she wanted it too. And he knows he loves her, damn, he never stopped. But he feels like he can’t risk his heart again. Gwen hurt him pretty bad, his ex wife cheated on him and they divorced less than two months ago. And he knows Gwen and him would be perfect together, but what if something doesn't work and she decides to leave him again? It would be too much. After everything that happened in his life, he doesn't want to get hurt anymore. Or at least not this soon.

And he feels like Icarus when he tried to fly, but he flew too near the sun and it burned his wings. And Gwen is like the sun, and his wax wings are already too damaged to risk everything all over again.

Mary is waiting for him in front of his trailer when he arrives. She called him while he was driving and told him they needed to talk. Like he didn't know it. He tries to smile at her, she doesn't smile back at him but at least she accepts the kiss that he places on her cheek.

“Let’s go inside, ‘kay?”

She only nods and he opens the trailer with his keys. The atmosphere is awkward and he doesn't know how to start the speech he prepared in his mind. She sits on his couch and looks at him, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her lips closed in a strict line.

“I’m sorry”, he says, opting for the forgiveness he hopes she’ll give him.

“For what, Blake?”, it’s the first time she has spoken since his arrival, her voice is cold and distant. “What are you sorry for? For kissing her or for me finding out about it?”

“No, I… I shouldn't have kissed her.”

“But you did. And you didn't even see people taking pictures of you. She has to be a very good kisser, Blake.”

“Don’t do this, Mary. It was just a kiss. And I made a mistake, okay? It won’t happen again”, he sits near her on the couch and she stiffens. “I didn't want to hurt you. I hate what I did to you.”

“Then why did you do it?”

 

 

“Hey, Adam, have you seen Blake?”

Adam hugs Gwen and then points towards the trailers. “I haven’t, honey, but I think he's hiding inside of his trailer”, he chuckles. “I was just going to check on him, do you want to come with me?”

“Sure”, she nods smiling shyly, “I’m sure you already know what I have to talk to him about anyway.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make fun of you two, okay? At least not in front of you”, they both laugh and Adam looks at Gwen sweetly. “You are good to him.”

“Thank you”, she blushes, “I-“

_“It was a mistake, okay!?”_

Gwen is interrupted by the yelling. She glances at Adam and he has the same quizzical look she's wearing.

“ _I’m not gonna ask you again, Blake. Why. Did. You. Kiss. Her!?”_

Gwen gasps and Adam swears. This isn't happening, right? They are not standing outside of Blake’s trailer while he’s inside fighting with his girlfriend, right?

Before he can say anything, the discussion from inside fills their ears again.

_“It didn't mean anything, I fucking told you! I was drunk and mad at you because you didn't come to the party and she was there and I kissed her! It won’t happen again, okay? I like you, not her. She’s barely a friend.”_

Gwen can’t decide which part of his speech hurt her the most. She only knows that she feels like someone just stabbed her in her belly. She can hardly breath. Adam is looking at her with his mouth open and maybe he's telling her something because his mouth is moving but she can't hear anything. She tries with all her strength to stop the tears from falling but they're stronger than her.

“Gwen…”

She shakes her head staring at her feet. She doesn't want to hear some pity speech right now. “I…”, her voice is broken and weak and she clears her throat to hide the sob, “I should go”, she finally says.

“Wait here and talk to him, Gwen. Don't let this affect you. I’m sure he didn't mean what he said”, Adam tries to convince her.

But she's impassible, her eyes not only filled with tears but with anger as well. With anger and resignation. “I don't have anything to tell him.”

“Gwen, please…”

“Don’t tell him I was here, okay?”

Adam only has time to nod and she's gone. He looks at her walking towards her car, her tiny frame shaking with what he knows are sobs. Her shoulders seem to carry the world’s weight while she walks fast but unsteady.

The man smiles sadly caressing his wedding ring. Why is it so hard for his friends to stop hurting themselves?

 

 

“I’ll call you later, okay?”, he kisses Mary on the lips and closes the door of his trailer behind him. He could go back home but maybe he should look for Gwen first. He hasn't heard from her since last night and he doesn't know how she took the news of the pictures.

The stage is not as full of people as usual. He decides to call Adam and see if he's still around when he spots him near the little bar of the studios.

He approaches his friend smiling. “Hey, man!”, he tries to hug him but Adam’s look tells him that something is wrong and his hug is not welcome. “Is everything okay?”

Adam finishes his coffee with a long sip and licks his lips before looking at the country singer. “I don't know, Blake. You tell me. Is everything okay?”

“If this is about the kiss I told you I was gonna fix the situation and I’m working on it, okay? I already spoke to Mary and-“

“Oh, really!?”, the rockstar interrupts him, his voice higher, “and what did you tell her? Enlighten me.”

“I…”, his brows are furrowed at his friend’s behavior, “I told her it was a mistake and she belie-”

“I can’t believe you! And what are you going to tell Gwen? The same thing or you want to keep kissing her every time you feel like to and then run back to your girlfriend at the end of the day?”

“Could you please lower your voice? If Gwen…”

“She’s not here”, Adam says rolling his eyes. “She left like twenty minutes ago.”

Blake is confused. “She was here? And why did she leave?”

Adam bites his lip. Should he tell Blake or not? Gwen asked him not to but he feels like he should. They should talk about it, not dancing around it like they've been doing for the past month. Especially now that Gwen is hurt and angry, Blake should finally take some courage and solve this damn situation once at all.

“She…”, he exhales, “she heard you, Blake.”

“Heard what?”

Adam runs a hand through his hair. “We were looking for you and when we arrived in front of your trailer we heard people yelling and it was you and Mary fighting. She heard everything you said. Especially the part about the mistake and the _“she’s barely a friend”_ thing.”

Blake’s eyes are wide open. Adam can see a drop of sweat running from his temple though is right cheek. “Did she… did…”

Adam puts a hand on his friend’s arm. “Listen, buddy, she asked me to not tell you but I had to, okay? You should have seen her. She was devastated. And she’s already going through a lot with the divorce and the kids. You need to fix this and soon.”

Blake closes and opens his mouth a couple of times. “Yes… I… Yes, you are right. I should talk to her. I’m going to her place now.”

Adam nods and smiles. “Okay. But don't hurt her, okay? The damage is already pretty bad.”

Before leaving, Adam decides to give his friend that hug that he refused earlier. “Love you, man. Do the right thing.” He squeezes him and then smiles softly.

“Thank you, Adam. I will.”

 

 

He’s been in front of her door for almost ten minutes now. It’s pretty obvious that the house is empty, Gwen’s car is not even there, but he just waits, his hands inside of the pockets and a concerned expression on his face.

Thirty minutes later he's not giving up but he really needs to sit because his legs are killing him. He sits on the floor, his back leaning against the door and keeps on waiting. He checks around for paparazzi but it looks like they decided to let him live in peace today.

He’s playing with his phone when Gwen’s car stops in front of the alleyway and he stands up in a second, hoping she didn't see him like that, like a homeless in front of her door.

Blake sees her looking at him in disbelief and exhaling. Before he can say anything, someone else get out of the car. It’s one of their kids. Not Apollo because he knows the little one. Maybe the elder one but he's not sure.

The kid is looking at him and the singer smiles a little to reassure him he's not a stranger but the blonde guy looks towards his mum anyway, his eyes full of questions.

“What are you doing here, Blake?”, Gwen asks him walking towards the door, her son behind her.

Blake moves to let them pass and looks at Gwen while she opens the door with the keys. She’s not thinking about ignoring him after he waited for half an hour, right?

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t and even if we did, we can’t right now. My son is here.”

Blake looks at the kid again and he finds him staring back. He's taken aback by the sight of two big blue eyes. He thought all Gwen’s sons had brows eyes like their mother. “I’m Blake, nice to meet you”, he says, holding his hand towards the little guy. “I’m a friend of your mum”, he adds then.

The kid takes his hand and squeezes it. “I’m Kingston”, he replies, his voice too strong for a kid of his age and Blake understands that he must be the one that has suffered the most during his parents’s divorce. His eyes radiate protection and fear at the same time.

Gwen observes the scene in front of her eyes in silence. Her heart beats fast and she brings a hand on her chest like trying to stop it before it explodes. She clears her throat catching Blake’s attention.

“King, baby, could you go in your room while I talk to my friend?”

Kingston nods and disappears inside of the house. Gwen smiles softly and then turns around to look at Blake again. “Come inside”, she says and he follows without saying anything.

Gwen stops in the kitchen and he hasn't said a word yet. She places her hands on the counter, her back to him.

“So? I thought you had to tell me something?”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not”, she lies, her hands are shaking.

“Look at me, then”, he touches her shoulder with a hand and she flinches. “Why are you mad at me, Gwen?”

She is looking at him, now. Her eyes are slightly red but he doesn't see any tear. For now. “You know why”, she smiles sadly. “Adam told you, right?”

Blake can’t stand her eyes and looks at the floor. “I’m so sorry”, he says, his voice barely audible. “I’m a jackass.”

Gwen takes a deep breath. “I just want to tell you something, Blake. I don't know if you did what you did for revenge. I don't know if you decided to kiss me just for fun and then tell your girlfriend I mean nothing to you just to hurt me.”

“I didn’t say-“

“Let me finish”, she says, holding her palm in front of his face. “I fell in love years and years ago with a different Blake Shelton, and I know I was the main reason why he changed, but I hope he can come back, and not necessarily to me, but he has to come back. Because this Blake Shelton, the one that doesn't care about people’s feelings and that hides behind empty relationships… I can’t love this Blake Shelton. He hurt me too much. And I only met him two months ago.”

She feels like every particle of strength left her body the moment she decided to talk to him in a such honesty way. He's looking everywhere but at her but for once she wishes he could just look at her and sees her pain, the pain he caused.

“I never meant to… I…”

She waits for him to finish the sentence but after some seconds of silence she understands it will remain incomplete. He’s… _he's crying._

The tall and strong cowboy from Oklahoma is sobbing in her kitchen, his crying is not noisy, he just stands there, in front of her, his hands closed in fists along his body, his teeth shut in a white grip and his eyes wide open but so full of tears she's sure he can’t see anything.

“Blake…”, she doesn't try to hide the desperation from her voice, this is only the third time she has seen him crying and she didn't remember the ache that seeing him so vulnerable and _broken_ can cause her.

She takes two steps and opens her arms to encircle his big frame. He hides his face in her neck, maybe for shame or maybe just because _he needs her,_ but she doesn't care. She puts a hand on his curls and just holds him, she lets him sob on her shirt and doesn't even notice the tears that are wetting her own cheeks.

“I’m- I’m…”, he tries to speak but the sobs stop him. “I didn't want… to suffer anymore. I just- just shut everyone out and-“

“Shhh, shhh, I’m here, now? You don't need to shut me out. I’m here for you, babe. I’ll never leave again.” The anger left her body the moment he broke down in front of her. He hurt her, okay. But she hurt him too and seeing him like this is literally tearing her apart. “Look at me, babe, please?”

He lifts his head and his puffy red eyes find hers. “I’m sorry.”

“Shh”, she passes a hand on his eyes, “we’ll figure everything out.”

He tries to smile at her and stiffens. “My head hurts so bad”, he murmurs.

Gwen leaves a sweet kiss on his forehead. “Wait here, okay, I’ll go take some pills, I needed them anyway.”

He finds himself alone in the kitchen and sits on a stool in front of the counter. After some minutes he hears some steps and turns around thinking it’s Gwen with the pills. But it’s not her.

“I thought adults didn't cry. At least men”, says Kingston studying him.

Blake wipes his eyes off again but he knows the redness won’t go away anytime soon and the kid already noticed it so it doesn't matter anyway.

“But crying is not a bad thing”, he adds, “today I cried too.”

The singer looks at him. “Why?”

“Because I didn't want to stay at my dad’s. And I called mum and asked her to come and pick me up”, he explains.

Blake smiles softly at him. “Why didn't you want to stay with your dad?”

Kingston looks around like to check if nobody can hear them. “Can I tell you a secret?”, he waits for Blake’s nod, “because… he’s not my real dad.”

Blake stops breathing for a second. “What… what do you mean?”

The younger boy exhales. “Mum told me that my dad doesn't know about me, but I asked her if we could tell him when we find him. And I’m sure when I see him, I’ll recognize him. Mum told me he has the eyes as blue and bright as mine!”, he explains excited.

The country singer is stuck in place. Something… something in his mind. No. Not possible. “Kingston, buddy… how old are you?”

The kid looks at him proudly. “Almost thirteen. I’m not a baby boy anymore.”

Blake’s head starts spinning. Thirteen years old. Blue eyes. His dad doesn't know about him. It can’t be. No fucking way.

Kingston looks at him in a weird way. “Are you okay?”

The man remembers how to breath. “Yes, I… uhm, my head just hurts very bad.”

“Okay, I only found this but I think it could work”, says Gwen coming back into the kitchen, holding a little box in her hand. “King, what are you doing here?”

Kingston looks at her mum and then at Blake. “I was just talking to your friend, mum.”

Gwen kisses his head. “Go back to your room, baby boy”, she says and the kid runs out of the room. She looks at Blake. “How is your head, babe?”

Her question doesn't receive any answer. Blake is staring at his hands that are laying on the counter in front of him

“Blake?”

The moment he lifts his head to look at her, a shiver runs through her back. His voice is deep when he speaks, his eyes still red, but maybe with anger now.

_“When you said that we were going to figure everything out, you were also talking about the fact that Kingston is my son?”_

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very important to me, I hope you'll like it.  
> Enjoy!

Her eyelids are heavy and her head hurts, she feels like someone is playing the drums inside of her head and she just needs it to stop because she can’t handle it anymore, the pain is becoming too much.

She feels a hand on her right cheek and fights to open her eyes. 

“Jen”, her voice comes out raspy and Gwen clears her throat before speaking again, taking some time to sit on the bed and look around the room. “Wha-“

“Take this, sweetheart”, her sister-in-law says looking at her worried. She gives her a glass of water and smiles sweetly. “How are you feeling?”

Gwen takes a long sip of water and exhales. “Like I just hit my head against the wall.”

“Blake called us when you fainted, we were so worried, you’ve been sleeping for twenty minutes, we didn't know what to do, your brother wanted to call the ambulance”, Jen explains fast, her voice still full of concern and her eyes never leaving the blonde’s. “What happened? Blake doesn't want to tell us.”

“Blake… is he still here?”, she asks, her eyes filling with tears.

“Yes, he’s downstairs with King and Todd, he was so scared, honey. He stayed with you until five minutes ago, when Kingston asked him to play. He’s so sweet with him, Gwen.”

“He found out, Jen.”

The woman stares at her with her mouth open. “What… what do you mean?”

Gwen drinks some more water before looking back at her. “He knows Kingston is his son. I don't know how, we were talking, I left him five minutes alone and when I came back he was talking to King. The next second he was looking at me with angry eyes and asking me about King”, she brings her hands in front of her eyes and lets the tears run free on her cheeks.

Jen moves on the bed and sits near her, her hand caressing her back, “I’m so sorry, Gwen, I don’t know what to say.”

Gwen sniffs before reaching for a tissue on the nightstand. Her eyes are red and puffy and some residue of mascara is staining her cheeks. “He will never forgive me”, she murmurs between the sobs, her voice broken with pain.

“Oh, honey”, Jen’s arms encircle her body in a second and she lays her head on the woman’s shoulder, hoping that some human contact will ease at least a little bit of pain away. “What are you gonna do, now?”

She sobs again and shakes her head, her brain automatically imagining the worst scenario, “I don’t know, I just hope he won’t ask for King’s sole custody because I can’t live without one of my boys”, she murmurs, the thought of losing her baby boy so painful that the tears increase. 

“He won’t, Gwen, Blake would never do that.”

Gwen lifts her head and looks right into Jen’s eyes. “I hid his son from him, Jenny, for thirteen years.”

“He will understand, trust me.”

Gwen is not convinced but can only nod in front of her sister in law. She tries to smile but her lips won’t collaborate, so she just looks at her until a knock on the door makes her wince on the bed and she covers her eyes with her hands to wipe the last tears away.

“Gwen? Is she awake?”, her brother’s voice fills the room and she smiles, this time a real smile, at her brother. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you”, she says softly, trying to stand up and using Jen’s shoulder as a support, not trusting her unsteady legs yet. “Is King worried?”

“Not anymore, but he was. But Blake told him you were tired and your body had to rest a little bit. He believed him”, Todd explains, helping her taking some steps towards the door.

“Guys, can you stay with King for a few minutes? I need to talk to Blake.”

“Yes, of course, but are you sure everything's okay? Don't you want to rest some more?”, Jen asks.

“I’m okay”, Gwen tries to reassure them but the concern is still present in their eyes. “I just had a panic attack, guys.”

Todd is staring at her, his look serious on her body. “You haven't had one in years, Gwen. Maybe you should see someone.”

“I’m not going back to therapy, Todd”, Gwen says firmly before leaving the room.

The man can’t help but exhale before turning towards his wife. “Don’t worry, babe”, she tries to reassure him, “it was nothing serious.”

 

 

She can hear Kingston’s laugh coming from the kitchen but she decides to go wash her face before her son and Blake see her. She glances at the mirror and shivers, the bags under her eyes are dark and her hair is tied in a messy bun on top of her head.

“I look horrible”, she murmurs at herself before washing her face with cold water.

After some minutes she's in front of the kitchen door and she doesn't feel ready to face the man in the room but she knows that she can’t run anymore. 

She wears a fake smile and enters, her presence only stopping the laughs and giggles immediately. “Mum!”, King shouts before hugging her tight, his protectiveness showing once again.

“Easy, buddy”, she hears Blake murmuring and she waits for him to say something else, this time to her, but nothing comes out from the man’s mouth and she looks everywhere but at him, her arms hugging her son back and her mouth leaving a sweet kiss on his forehead.

“I’m sorry I scared you, baby boy”, she says, still looking at him.

Kingston lifts his face towards her and smiles, “it’s okay, mum, I’m glad you are okay.”

They hug some more before Gwen finds the courage to look at the man in front of her. She finds herself face to face with his big blue eyes, her breath stops and she knows they have to talk, now, before the situation gets even more worse.

“King, your aunt and uncle are waiting for you upstairs, they want you to show them your new iPad”, she says, freeing herself from her son’s arms.

“Yes, I want to show uncle Todd that game I got yesterday”, he replies excited and in a moment he’s out of the room, leaving two adults and an awkward silence behind him.

“Blake…”

She doesn't really know what to say. She knows she needs to apologize and explain and beg him not to be mad at her for the rest of their lives, but his eyes are so dark and big and she feels so little under his gaze that the words don't want to come out.

“I’m sorry”, she tries, her words just a feeble whisper, her eyes full of tears again.

“I can’t even look at you right now”, he says after a moment of silence, his voice cold and distant. “I don’t… I don't know what to do, what to say. How, Gwen, how could you do something like that to me?”

“I…”, she sits on a stool and waits for him to look at her again, “I didn't know how to tell you, Blake.”

“You know that this is not enough, right?” He takes a few steps towards her, his hands inside of his pockets, “do you at least understand the gravity of what you did?”

“Of course I understand! I thought about it every single day in the last thirteen years, Blake, every day.”

“Then why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you call me when you found out? Why didn't you come back to Oklahoma to tell me, Gwen?”

“I couldn’t! I couldn't come back, Blake! I finally found the courage to leave that place and I couldn’t come back and act like nothing happened, Blake! People were gonna talk, people who already hated me! You know that place, you know how those people act!”

“I don’t give a damn about people, Gwen! It was about you and me! And about our son, for goodness sake!”, he is yelling now, his hands moving in a desperate way, the vein in his neck pulsing hard in front of her eyes.

She gets up and takes a step towards him, wincing a little when he takes automatically one back. But she should have imagined it. He hates her now. He hates more than when she left him. She has to accept the fact that he doesn't want to have anything to do with her ever again. 

She takes a deep breath, thinking for a few seconds for the right words to use. “Blake, listen to me. I know I did a terrible thing and I’ll never forgive myself for what I did, both leaving you and not telling you about King. And I’m not expecting you to forgive me, I just want you to understand that I’m not proud of it and I wouldn't do it again. I want you in King’s life, in mine too, I always wanted you in it. You are the love of my life, you've always been and you will always be. And I'm not just telling this because I feel guilty, and I do feel guilty right now, but because it’s what I think and if you decide to leave us, I’ll accept it but I will never ever forgive myself for ruining what we had.”

She is panting when she finishes her speech, her words maybe too emotional but true, and she thinks that’s what they need in their relationship right now. Truth. Honesty.

Blake is looking at her, his eyes wet, his mouth slightly open. “Gwen…”

She knows. She knows he’s gonna tell her to leave the show and disappear once for all from his life. She knows this is the end. And it’s all her fault. Everything has been her fault.

“Do you really want a relationship with me, a man that every time that looks at you, will think about the lies you told him?”

Okay, that hurts. Lies are not the only things she ever told him but she kind of understand him. She hurt him pretty badly and these are the consequences. “I do, Blake. I’d do anything I can to have something with you again.”

He shakes his head. “It’ can’t be this easy”, he murmurs running a hand through his curls. “I need time.”

“I… I understand”, she tries to stop the tears from breaking free but in vain. “How”, she clears her throat, “how much time?”

“I’m not filming this week, I think I’ll spend some days in Oklahoma, I need to clear my mind about something. I need to stay away.”

“Away from me?”, she asks in a weak voice.

“From everything”, he explains. “I want to tell King, when I come back. I want to tell him and spend some time with him”, he says before turning around and walking towards the door.

Gwen can only nod and look at him walking away, her view bleared from the tears, her hands trembling in front of her. What did she do?

 

 

The next week is one of the worst weeks of her entire life. The days go by slowly and she can’t act like nothing happened. She tries, she tries so hard, in front of her kids, of her friends and coworkers, but they understand that something is off. And Blake’s absence from the set can only confirm it. He usually visits the studios when his friends are working even if he doesn't have to film. He’s just so attached to them and naturally good with everyone that the fact that he's not there for a whole week sounds weird to all the people who work on the show.

She sends him nine messages that week, each of one full of apologies, but he doesn't reply to any of them. She knows he has every right to ignore her but it hurts, and every time she goes to sleep she can only think about the fact that he hates her and that he will never forgive her.

She has the kids that week, so that helps her a little bit, but during the night she finds herself alone in her big bed, the darkness surrounding her and the thoughts filling her head.

She thinks about going back to therapy, she really does, but she also thinks that if she fought depression two times already, she can do it another time. The first time, when she arrived in LA from Oklahoma, alone and pregnant and without Blake, she fell in a spiral of bad thoughts that couldn't let her live her new life happily. She missed him too much, and the guilt of not telling him about his baby was literally eating her alive. But she fought and learnt how to solve her problems alone, or at least with only the help of a few people.

The second time was after she found out about Gavin’s affair. She was at one of his concerts when she saw a young girl, not much younger than her though, coming out from her husband’s trailer, her shirt wrinkled and her makeup and hair ruined from what she thought was a quick and dirty round of sex.

She fell back in that tunnel, her insecurities coming back and not leaving her for a long time. She decided to forgive her husband that time, the thought of being alone again in that big city stopping her from kicking him out from their house.

Now she feels like she’s not there yet, her depression is still a bad and old memory, but she also needs to fight these bad feelings, these bad thoughts that make her cry every night before falling asleep.

King won’t stop asking about Blake and when he's going to spend more time with them. One afternoon he says something like “it would be so cool if my dad was as fun as Blake” and that breaks her, forces her to hide in the bathroom and cry all her tears hoping that her kids won’t notice.

Her brother and his wife are always present in that week, always ready to help her when there’s the need and to stay with the kids when she needs some time alone.

She knows he’s coming back after six days because they have to film but she's not ready to see him, not yet. At the same time, she missed him like hell, and she knows that his strong arms around her are the only thing that would make her feel better, but she also knows that she can’t have them, she can’t have his hugs, his kisses, his love.

She sees him when she arrives at the studios, he’s talking to Adam and a little group of people and she walks quickly near them, looking at the floor, hoping that they won’t stop her.

But Adam, of course him, shouts out her name and she feels her breath stopping. She smiles awkwardly at him, her bottom lip trembling with anxiety. She feels Blake’s eyes on her, his gaze burns on her, making her feel uncomfortable.

“How are you, sunshine?”, asks Adam hugging her, his lips leaving a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Good”, she murmurs, finally looking at Blake and finding his big blue eyes still on her. She smiles softly at him not expecting him to return the gesture but when he does her heart skips a beat and she finds herself smiling a little more.

She spends a good day on the set, after all. Blake and her don't talk much but he brings her a tea after a break and he says beautiful things about her in an interview. 

Later that day she's changing into her trailer when someone knocks on her door and she just knows that it’s him. She opens the door without saying anything and let him enter, wincing when his arm brushes hers.

“How was Oklahoma?”, she asks, deciding which words to use with attention.

“Like always”, he exhales. “Peaceful, hot.”

She nods and waits for him to say something. But he doesn’t. He just stares at her and she feels like the air around them is becoming too heavy. She takes a long and deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment and focusing on positive thoughts, like her therapist taught her some years before.

“Do you want to tell King tonight, Blake?”, she asks once she trusts her body enough to not have another panic attack.

Blake is studying her, his eyes never leaving hers while she speaks and his body strong and secure in front of her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m getting there”, she replies honestly.

He nods and she feels her cheeks heating up. “Do you have your car here?”

“No, Adam drove me here this morning”, he says.

“Okay. The kids are waiting at home with their baby-sitter, let’s go,”

 

 

The kids are excited when they see Blake. Apollo only leaves the man’s arms to eat. He spends the night touching his ear and playing with his hat, babbling at him and looking intensely at him when he replies. Zuma asks him a lot of things about his music and his guitar, smiling excitedly when Blake promises him to let him try his guitar soon.

King is open and friendly with Blake and Gwen loves seeing them playing together. After the dinner, Gwen asks her kids to change into their pajamas and go to bed while she goes upstairs with Apollo in her arms.

Once the little one is asleep in the middle of her big bed, she goes to Zuma’s room and gives him a kiss after wishing him a good night.

King is reading a book when she enters his room, and she smiles sadly at the sight of her boy, afraid that after that night their relationship will be ruined. “King, baby, can you come downstairs with me?”

Kingston lies his book down on the bed and nods, looking worried at his mum. He follows her downstairs and into the dining room, where Blake is waiting for them sitting on the big sofa. 

“I love your pajamas, man”, Blake says, trying to break the ice. 

King smiles and and sits near the man, still looking at his mum. She takes a chair and sits in front of them, her hands sweating and her heart beating fast.

“There’s something you should know, Kingston”, she starts, “something very important that will change your life, but in a good way, okay?”

The kid looks between her and Blake. “What’s happening?”

Gwen glances at Blake but he won’t meet her gaze, his eyes are focused on the boy near him and she smiles softly at his panicked expression.

“Do you remember that I told you that Blake and I have known each other for a very long time?”, she asks and waits for the kid’s nod. “We were very in love, baby boy, and when two adults are in love, they make something very beautiful.”

“Mum, you gave me that talk two years ago”, Kingston interrupts her.

“Just tell him”, Blake murmurs, the anxiety visible on his face.

“Kingston… Blake is your father.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Marco, for saving my life.

He always thought about himself as a good kid. He has good marks at school, not excellent as Zuma’s but good, he always helps his mum when she asks him to do something, he’s always ready to help her with his little brothers, to help Zuma with his homework and Apollo with his games.

He accepted the fact that Gavin wasn't his real dad a long time ago, when he was old enough to really understand what it meant. But he never stopped wishing he could meet his real father.

And now he has him in front of his eyes. The tall country man is staring at him with his big blue eyes, his face contorted in an expression full of anxiety and he honestly doesn't know what to do, what to say, _how to feel._

His mum’s eyes are full of concern, her hands are shaking on her lap and he just wants to hug her and tell her that everything is okay but he can’t. Not right now.

So, Blake is his dad. Wow. He wasn't expecting that. He likes Blake, a lot, but he always imagined his dad as someone who doesn't even remember his mum. Not a colleague of her, not a friend. That means they are going to spend some time together now? And how does Blake feel about him? Does he like him? Is he happy to be his father? Does he want to spend time with him?

A lot of questions are filing his head and he just needs to understand, to have all the answers right now.

“King? Baby?”

“I… Are you sure?”

Blake chuckles and Kingston looks at him smiling shyly. “Don’t you like me? I never tried but I think I can be a cool dad”, he says smiling back at the young boy, trying to reassure him with his dimpled smile.

“No, it’s not… I like you, Blake. But… do you like me?”

Blake is taken aback by the kid’s question but he shakes his head, the smile still on his face, quickly glancing at Gwen and then back to Kingston. “Of course I do, buddy, but maybe we could try to know each other better?”

Kingston nods excited before looking at his mum. “You… you always knew it was Blake?”

His mum nods, her face serious but revealing a little bit of sadness at the same time. “I’m so sorry, King, so sorry. I just didn't know how to tell him. I hope you can forgive me.”

He stands up and takes a step towards his mum before bending a little to hug her. “I’m not mad, mommy”, he murmurs, “but I’m so happy you finally told me. I always wanted to know.”

Gwen is crying now, the t-shirt on his shoulder getting wet with his mum’s tears. She keeps sobbing and saying that she's sorry but he is really not mad. He can’t be mad. The joy is too much right now. He caresses her hair until she stops sobbing and looks behind to see Blake struggling on the sofa in front of the woman’s tears.

“I have a question”, he says suddenly, making his mother look at him and sitting near Blake after leaving a kiss on Gwen’s cheek. “Are you and Blake dating now? That’s why you decided to tell him now?”

Gwen opens her mouth to speak but Blake is faster. “Oh, no, no”, he says shaking his head, “we are not dating. I have a girlfriend, buddy.”

The rapidity of his words is what hurts her the most. She knows she doesn't have any right to feel like this, but it’s like she just ate a knife and now she is trying to swallow it but, of course, it just won’t go down. It hurts too much.

She clears her throat, her eyes still watery, and dips her head to stare at her feet. The silence around them is uncomfortable and she just wants to disappear right now. To escape from Blake’s stare and hide in her room, away from him, from the pain, from their complicated story.

“Uhm… King, I think you should go to sleep, it’s late”, he continues. “We can see each other tomorrow? If that’s okay with your mum…”

Gwen is brought back to the conversation when she hears Blake saying her name. She blinks a few times before looking at the boys again. King is smiling excitedly, his eyes bright and shining, while Blake is just studying her.

“Yes, okay. Blake is right, baby boy, you really should go to sleep. You’ll see Blake tomorrow.”

She waits for them to hug and then walks her son towards his room. She tugs him in his bed once he’s ready to sleep, even if she knows that he doesn't need help with that anymore, and kisses him on his forehead.

“Are you okay, baby?”, she murmurs.

Kingston nods, trying to hide a big yawn but without succeeding.

“Mommy loves you so much. So, so much.”

“I love you too, mommy. G’night.”

She doesn't know if she hopes that he left or stayed but she finds out even before thinking about it too much that he’s still there, in her hallway. He’s just waiting for her, his hands deep in his jeans pockets, his face serious.

“So… it went good, right?”, he says when she's finally in front of him, smiling a little.

“Yes, it went good”, she replies, looking everywhere but at him. “I’m exhausted, I’m sorry, it’s better if you go.”

Blake furrows his eyebrows, his smile disappearing quickly from his face. “Gwen… are you okay?”

She lifts her head and he finally, _finally,_ sees everything. The sadness, the pain. He doesn't know how, but he does. It’s everything there, in front of him, clear and obvious in her eyes.

He tries to touch her arm but she takes a step back before he can even brush it. “I only said the truth, Gwen. We are not together…”

She smiles sadly and nods. “I know that, Blake”, she says with a cold voice, “that’s why it’s better if you leave. We don’t want people to see you sneaking out from my house this late.”

Her voice is distant and Blake doesn't understand why she’s acting like this. He is the victim here. Not her. “You have no rights to act like this”, he says sharply, noticing that her bottom lip starts to tremble in front of him.

She takes a deep breath before looking at him again. “You are right, Blake. I have no right. Now, please, leave me alone.”

“Hey, you wanted this, okay?! I didn't ask you to hide my son for years, Gwen! I have every right to be hurt and angry and you can’t fucking act like a child because I told the truth to our son, because we aren't together, okay? We aren’t”, he says, raising his voice before remembering that they are not alone in the house. “And I don’t know if we’ll ever be.”

A slap would have hurt less.

She’s using all her strengths to not burst in tears in front of him. Because she’s tired of crying, of showing him how weak he can reduce her with his words only.

“I… I really need you to go now”, she murmurs after a few seconds of pained silence.

“Gwen…”

“Just go.”

He nods and walks towards the front door, grabbing the handle before turning his head to look at her one last time. “You can’t expect me to forgive you only after a week, I’m sorry”, he says and then opens the door and walks into the night, leaving a sobbing Gwen behind him, her face contorted with pain.

 

 

“Gwen, give him some time, would you?”

She looks at her therapist in silence, the tears running down her cheeks before ending in her lap, wetting her white skirt with big drops.

“He’s been great with King, really great. They spent some afternoons together, went to the park, did some father-son things… I haven’t seen King this happy in a while. And I told Zuma, I explained him, and he’s happy for his brother. It’s like everything is finally working out.”

Her therapist smiles at her before wetting his lips with his tongue. “Then what’s wrong?”

“He hates me, Marco”, she sighs, “he doesn't even look at me! When we are at work he just talks to me because he's forced to! And when he comes home to pick King up he just waits in his damn car!”

Marco passes her a glass full of water. “Take deep breaths, Gwen. Getting angry won’t help you in any way, okay? Just breathe.”

She does as the therapist said and gets more comfortable on the armchair. “I… I…”

“Gwen, listen to me. When did you tell him?”

“Three weeks ago”, she murmurs before taking another long sip from the glass.

“It’s not a lot, Gwen. He needs time to process things, to forgive you and to accept the fact that he has a son. You told me that he really wanted kids. And he has finally one. But he is thirteen. It’s not easy.”

She doesn't want to admit it but he’s right. She just misses him so much. “I hope he’ll forgive me.”

“Well, I can’t assure you he will, but I can help you stay as positive as you can, okay?”

Gwen nods, wiping a tear away from her cheek. “Thank you, Marco. Thank you so much. I didn't want to come back here, at the beginning. But now I realize how much I needed it. And I’m not ashamed of being back in therapy. You are helping me a lot.”

The man smiles sweetly at her. “You are doing a great job. Keep the thoughts positive like I taught you, okay?”, he waits for her nod, “and I’ll see you next week.”

He winks at her and she chuckles, standing up and walking towards him to shake his hand. She takes a breath and smiles. “Next week.”

 

 

“Dad is almost here!”, shouts Kingston, so loud that she’s sure all the neighbors know that he’s going out with his dad. “Zuma! Are you ready?”

Gwen exhales before running behind his middle one, holding some of his clothes. “Zooms, please, can you wear this?”

Zuma is excited like his elder brother, his hair is everywhere and he doesn't want his mum to help him with it. “I’m not cold”, he grumbles but shuts his mouth after seeing his mum’s angry expression.

“Please, please, guys, don’t scare the poor Blake away, okay? It’s his first time with the two of you, behave”, she says with her best sassy voice.

Her kids nod and she notices Apollo walking on his unsteady legs towards her. “Mommy”, he mumbles lifting his arms up.

She picks him up in her arms and kisses him on his curls. “Are you ready to spend a night alone with your momma?”, the kid chuckles at her and she feels her heart melting with love. She’s about to say something else when the doorbell rings. Wow, he had the decency to get out of that damn car this time.

“Blake is here!”, she yells before opening the door, Apollo still in her arms.

Blake sees her and smiles before ruffling Apollo’s hair with his big hand. “Hey, little one! Gwen.”

“Blake.”

It’s like they forgot how to act around each other and Gwen blames herself everyday for that. She clears her throat. “Uhm… Thank you for inviting Zuma as well. It was nice of you.”

He shows her his dimples and she swears her heart stopped right in that moment before starting beating again, faster than before. The kids join them after a few seconds and she’s so grateful, things with Blake are so awkward that she can’t stand it anymore.

“Behave, guys”, she says again, before wishing the three boys to spend a nice night and closing the door behind her.

 

 

Once Apollo is asleep, she’s left alone with her thoughts, waiting for her two other sons to come back home.

After seeing Kingston so happy the past few weeks, she feels even more ashamed and guilty for what she did. Lying wasn't the best thing to do, only the easiest. Blake has been happy as well, not with her, of course, but she’ll never get tired of seeing his eyes shining every time he’s with his son.

His son, wow. She still can’t believe it. They are so good for each other. They would be such a happy family altogether.

She tried to make things better between her and Blake but he just won’t forgive her. She’s not asking him to forget what she did, of course not. She just wants him to understand, at least, to start believing in her again.

She takes a shower and spends some time doing all the things she can’t do when she’s busy with the kids. She applies creams on her body, relaxing a little and enjoying the silence of the house. She’s ready to change into her pajamas when she hears a car stopping on the alleyway, leaving her no choice but to remain with only her robe.

She goes downstairs and opens the door, greeting the boys back and asking them how the night went. Blake is smiling at the scene, the kids talking excitedly at their mum and Gwen asking them to lower their voices because their brother is sleeping.

“Thank you so much, Blake!”

Zuma and Kingston hug the tall country singer before running upstairs, ready to go to sleep.

“Uhm, I’ll go check on them”, the woman says, tightening the pink robe around her thin body.

Blake stops staring at the skin he can see of her chest and nods. “I’ll wait here.”

 

 

When she walks back to him, he’s still there, right where she left him. “Uhm, is everything alright?”

He dips his head before shaking it.

"We broke up", he says, waiting for her reaction with his eyes now firm on her face.

"I'm sorry", she murmurs, but she knows that she's not and he knows as well, that's why he shows her a smile, maybe a little sad, but it makes her shiver from her head to her toes anyway.

"You never liked her."

She blushes, her cheeks turning red for the embarrassment. "She just... wasn't really your type."  
  
He takes a step towards her and she tries to take one back, only remembering a little too late that she doesn't have any space behind her, that lying her back against the wall is the only thing she can do.   
  
"And who's my type, Gwen?", he asks, amusement coloring his voice, his face near hers.   
  
"I don't know... you tell me."   
  
His hands are on the wall now, trapping her against it, his face close to hers, his breath hot on her skin. "You were my type..."   
  
"But I'm not anymore, right?"   
  
She bites her lip, his eyes following every movement and darkening at the sight of her teeth nipping at the sensible flesh of skin. "I never said that..."   
  
She doesn't know what to say, so she just keeps staring at him, his nearness too intoxicant, like he was some kind of drugs and she couldn't stop wanting it. Never stopping.   
  
"I never wanted to hate you."   
  
Her breath stops and he curses, his mouth only a few centimeters away from hers. "I didn't mean to say tha-"   
  
"You did", she stops him, "and you know what? I hate you too."   
  
"I didn't hurt you like you did."   
  
She laughs with incredulity at his response. "What are you, five?"   
  
He chuckles, caressing her right cheek with his hand. "Maybe."   
  
Gwen tries to free herself from the trap that his arms are forming around her. "Lemme go", she pleads accepting the fact that he's too strong for her. "The kids could wake up at any moment."   
  
"They won't", he murmurs, "they were exhausted on the way back", his lips brush her cheek, her skin so soft under his mouth that he just wants to kiss and lick everywhere, the desire of tasting her sweet skin so strong that he can't resist.

"Blake... stop", Gwen exhales. Her self control almost gone by now. "I thought you were mad."  
  
"I am", one hand shifts to her hip, the other one still anchored on the wall. "I'm so fucking mad, Gwen..."   
  
She doesn't have enough time to react, not that she would have done anything anyway, in a moment his lips are on hers, hot and demanding for more, his tongue pushing inside until it finds hers, battling for dominance in a dirty and long fight.

She moans and it's like the sound of pleasure gave him the consent he needed to go on, to use his other hand to open her robe and leave her completely naked in front of him. He stops kissing her only to move his mouth down her neck, making her shiver under his lips. It’s like her nipples are waiting for him, so he takes one in his mouth, sucking hard before licking the sensitive area around it. He grips her thigh with his hand and puts it around his waist, automatically making her do the same with the other one, until he's the only thing that helps her to not fall on the floor.

His evident bulge is against her shaved hot core, her hips are moving against it in a sweet and slow dance and he can't help himself but pushes back, his member fully hard by now. The first drops of sweat are falling from his forehead and she licks one of them that is running on his hairy jaw.

“Blake…”

He grunts in response and she unzips his pant with her cold fingers, making him shiver when they touch the skin of his belly. “The kids”, he finds himself saying, his hardness obfuscating his thoughts but not enough to make him forget about the little ones.

“Kitchen. Now.”

It's not easy to walk like this, her thighs in a tight grip around his midsection and his pants open and falling down his legs, his dick fully erect and brushing her clit at every step he takes.

He manages to close the door behind them once they're in the kitchen and with only two long steps he's in front of the counter, lying her on it and kissing her like he needs her lips like air.

Her legs are open in front of him and he just pushes, making her scream in his mouth, maybe hurting her a little with the roughness of his movement. He's about to stop and ask her how she's feeling, he entered her without any preparation after all, but the “harder” she murmurs on his lips is what he needed to keep moving and moving until she's reduced to only a trembling and panting little thing under him and her nails are hurting and marking him on his back.

It doesn't take long. She's coming around his member after only a few more thrusts, her mouth open in pleasure and gasping for air.

He grunts in response, coming hard after a moment, like he hasn't had an orgasm in years.

He can't move. His legs are shaking and his heart is beating too fast. She's smiling at him, satisfied and relaxed. “I missed this…”

“I… I should go…”

_Wow, Blake. You just had sex with this woman after thirteen years and that's the first thing you say while you're still inside of her?_

He pulls out, finally able to stand on his legs. She's staring at him but he can't really understand her look.

“Uhm… it’s late”, he tries to explain, avoiding her eyes while he talks. “Wait, I'll…”, he fixes his clothes and runs a hand through his curls before walking out of the room only to come back in after a few seconds with her robe in his hand.

He passes it to her and observes her while she stands up and puts it back around her body. “Gwen…”, he's stopped by the shaking of her head and he sighs. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't… We shouldn't have…”

He doesn't know what to say, how to explain what he's feeling. He just needs to be alone right now. She doesn't even realize what he felt for her when they were making love on that counter. He still loves her so much and he's so scared of what it's going to happen if they get back together. He needs to think about it, he needs to…

“Leave. I need to leave”, he murmurs. He doesn't have the courage to look at her knowing how much he's hurting her right now. He just leaves her there, in her kitchen, with the sweet taste of her mouth still on his lips.

 

 

She doesn't know how she found the strength to walk to her room, but she did. She slips into her toilet in silence, not wanting to wake her boys up, and sits on the edge of her bathtub. She feels dirty. And empty. She decides to take a shower and once she's under the water, the tears start to run down her face. The way he left… She thought that they were finally on the same page again, but she never felt more distant from him like in that exact moment.

When she's ready to go to sleep, her pajamas soft on her skin, she stops a moment to look at her reflection in the mirror. And in that moment, she stops breathing.

 

They didn't use any protection.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week has been crazy but here's the new chapter.  
> Thank you so much for your support, writing really makes me happy and I'm glad you guys like my work.  
> Enjoy!

Her last pregnancy has been a miracle. Literally. Gavin and her weren’t trying to have a baby. They already had a lot of problems and a kid was the last thing her ex husband wanted. And she thought she wasn't on the age of having babies anymore but still, it happened.

She glances at the mirror in front of her, her t-shirt rolled up on her belly, and caresses it with her hand, exhaling loudly. Does she want another kid? Can she have kids at this age?

She should get ready to go to work but the thoughts are too much. After the way Blake left the previous night, she feels like they are back to when he hated her, if not worse.

She doesn't understand why. She thought about it all night long, tossing in her bed but trying to not wake her son. She knows she should make him sleep in his own room, but she feels too lonely during the night in that enormous bed and having at least one of her kids there with her just makes everything easier and less painful.

She takes a quick shower before changing to a comfortable outfit. She really doesn't feel like using makeup and fancy clothes today, she feels tired, like she spent the night running a marathon. She goes downstairs and waits for the baby-sitter to arrive, the woman always available to help her when she has to work.

“I’ll come back around seven, Lisa”, she whispers while the other woman gets things ready for the kids’ breakfast. “King will be a little hyperactive today, I’m sure, but they should behave.”

The woman nods and she takes her bag and keys before going out. The air hits her in the face, her ponytail swinging because of the wind. She takes a deep breath and walks towards her car.

_Today is gonna be a very long day._

 

 

She has been on an emotional roller coaster all morning long. Today is the last day of filming of the blind auditions and even not turning her chair for a contestant has made her feel bad.

She is ignoring Blake, she is trying so hard to be mad at him for leaving like he did, but the look of regret on his face is not helping her. At all.

Maybe this is their destiny. They will never have the relationship they both, or at least she hopes he does too, want. They tried, she ruined everything. And then again, she thought he finally forgave her but once they had sex, he just left, leaving her there, half naked and with a mix of confusion and fear obvious on her face.

And she really can’t act like that didn't happen. The way he made her feel… she will never forget that moment. Never.

“Guys, do you want a break before listening to the last five singers?”, Carson’s voice brings her back to reality, she lifts her head to look at her friend and finds his eyes pointed on her.

She clears her throat before speaking but Adam is faster. “Only five? Thank God, I’m exhausted”, he says making the audience laugh. He’s a drama queen but he’s right, they all are exhausted. “No break, man. I want to finish as soon as we can”, he continues and the other two men nod, leaving Gwen without any choice but to agree as well.

Damn, she really needed a break though.

She doesn't turn for the next guy, Blake turns first and she wants everything but fake smile and laugh at him. She usually doesn't let her private life affect her job but today she knows that she’s just waiting for the right occasion to yell at him and she really doesn't want to make a scene in front of everyone.

Her chair turns around and she waits for the next singer with her eyes closed and her hopes up. She recognizes the song after hearing the first notes, she can’t see the singer but she already understood it’s someone with a guitar.

_You're giving me a million reasons to let you go,_   
_You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show,_   
_You're givin' me a million reasons,_   
_Give me a million reasons,_   
_Givin' me a million reasons,  
About a million reasons…_

The female voice fills her ears and it’s so beautiful that she finds herself smiling a little, her hand already on the button and ready to press it. She looks around while the girl keeps singing and she sees everyone on their feet applauding for the girl and her amazing voice.

She slowly turns towards Blake and finds his eyes studying her, his hand ready to press the red button as well. Oh, she’s not going to lose this girl because of him. She wants her in her team.

 _I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away,_  
_But baby, I just need one good, one to stay..._   
  
Their eyes lock and she freezes in place, the song's words hitting her like a truck. She really has a million reasons to walk away from him. But he has a lot of reasons to walk away from her as well. He smiles sadly, a weak grin on his face, that reflects the emotions the song is causing him. With just a glance at him Gwen understands that he’s taking the words in, just like her.

He presses the button two seconds before her and both their chairs turn to find a young girl playing a guitar and smiling shyly while finishing singing.

Gwen decides to stand up and claps her hands excitedly at the singer before showing her a big smile and her thumbs up.   
  
Adam and Pharrell's teams are full and that means the fight over the girl is only between Gwen and the country singer. She quickly glances at him and waits for the other two chairs to turn around as well before sitting again.   
  
"Wow, that was awesome!", says Adam smiling. "My team is full but damn, your voice is breathtaking!"   
  
The girl thanks him and Gwen is about to say something when Blake interrupts her. "What's your name?"   
  
"Kate", she replies.   
  
"So, Kate, what can you tell us about yourself?"   
  
The girl blushes and Gwen chuckles. She knows Blake can be very charming and the girl seems to be already infatuated by the man's handsomeness.   
  
"I'm 21 and I'm from New York."   
  
"Yes!", Gwen shouts, lifting her hands up and laughing with Adam at Blake's discouragement. "Finally a city girl!"

The audience explodes in a laugh, Blake shows her an adorable pout and she tries to hide the smile that is threatening to explode, she really tries, but it's impossible to resist.

“I'm sorry Gwen, but what do you have against country people?”

She looks at him in disbelief. “It's clear that I have nothing against them, Blake. But they always end up choosing you and I really want this amazing girl in my team.”

“Well, I want her too”, he snaps back.

“Oh, oh”, Pharrell laughs, “this is getting interesting.”

Gwen takes a deep breath and looks at Kate again. She smiles sweetly. “Your voice is amazing, Kate. You have talent, a lot of talent. And I’m sure we could work very well together. You are a girl and I am too. You sing and I do too. I haven't played a guitar in years but I'm sure I could start again for you.”

The girl thanks her and smiles happily before looking at Blake and waiting for his pitch. Blake is laughing softly when Gwen glances at him. “She was very good with the guitar, by the way. I taught her”, he winks and Kate giggles like a teenager. Oh, maybe because she's a teenager. Gwen is not jealous… she just… how can he act like nothing happened? She can barely look at him and yet, he's there, all smiles and winks and flirting like a playboy.

“Let’s be serious here”, he continues, “maybe you are from the city and that's okay with me, but I can recognize a beautiful voice when I hear one, and I’m sure your voice can sing everything, even an old country song”, he winks again and Gwen rolls her eyes. Is he acting like a jerk on propose? “I really want you on my team, Kate.”

Oh, she's done with this comedy. “Really, Blake?”, she snaps. “And since when you are sure about what you really want?”

She regrets what she said in the exact moment the words leave her mouth. She sees Pharrell freezing on his chair with his mouth slightly open. Damn.

Blake turns to look at her, his eyes wide open. “Listen, Gwen…”

“Okay”, Adam interrupts him, “who do you choose as your coach?”

She watches the girl choosing Blake and smiling awkwardly at her before getting off of the stage. Three, two, one…

“Let’s take a break, everyone!”, Mark’s voice is loud and she sighs in resignation, already knowing what it's going to happen next. Mark is in front of her in a moment and she tries to show him a smile, a smile he doesn't return.

“I need to talk to you, in private”, he says. “Blake! You too, please.”

They follow him while Carson and Adam do everything they can to entertain and distract the audience.

Mark shuts the door of his office behind them and she winces.

“Mark, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said in front of everyone.”

Mark sighs and nods at her. “Gwen… you can't say things like that. What are people gonna think? I already asked the security to check that nobody was using their phone but damn, someone will talk and you two won't hear the end of it!”

“You are right”, she murmurs. “It won't happen again.”

Blake keeps staring at the floor and Mark studies him. “Blake, you don't have anything to say?”

“There are some things between us, Mark”, he admits, “but we won’t let them ruin the show.”

“Good. I don't want to suspend anyone here, okay?” They nod and he smiles. “Take a few minutes, I’ll talk to the director because this episode needs some cutting”, he winks at Gwen before leaving the room.

She doesn't want to talk to him, not right now, not when she only feels angry and disappointed. She's tired of fighting with him, to fight over something that maybe he doesn't want anymore.

“I'm sorry for snapping like that, Blake.”

He looks at her stunned, he was expecting everything but an apology from her. “You don't have to… I acted like a jackass.”

“You did.”

“It’s just… after last night, Gwen, I wa-”

“Oh, wait, wait, wait”, okay, all her good intentions disappear in a moment in front of her eyes. “Last night, what, Blake? What about last night?”

He runs a hand through his curls before exhaling. “I know you're mad bu-”

She interrupts him again. “I'm not mad, Blake. I don't even know what I am right now. _You made me feel like a slut_.”

“That wasn't my intention, Gwen”, he murmurs and her heart clenches in a tight grip.

“But it’s too late!”

“It’s never late to forgive someone, Gwen, especially if you really love them”, he clears his throat, his eyes wet with tears. “I messed up but… Gwen, I forgave you, for goodness sake! You didn't tell me about my son but I forgave you! And yet, you can't forgive me?”

She bites her lip, deciding cautiously which words use with him. “You are right about that, and I’m happy you forgave me, Blake, but after last night… I just thought that maybe this is us now. Maybe this is how it’s meant to be. Do you understand me?”

“No, I…”, he looks at her with concern, “what are you trying to say?”

She sighs before wiping a tear from her cheek. “We are not good at this, Blake, not anymore at least. We used to be… amazing. You were the love of my life. And you still are. But sometimes… sometimes it's better leaving things the way they are to not risk ruining them even more.”

He looks even more lost right now and she smiles sadly. “I'm not following you, Gwen.”

“We’ll be King’s parents together, friends if you want to and you’ll let me, but this… this continue dancing around each other… this is killing me, Blake, and I'm sure it’s not healthy for you either. We should just accept the fact that we’ll never have what we used to have ever again.”

Wow. She knew it wasn't going to be easy but damn, she feels empty. She just gave up on him and on their love story. It’s the end.

She doesn't understand Blake’s expression, not right away at least. He's looking at her, his eyes full of incredulity. “What… what… Gwen, please.”

“I'm not doing this to hurt you, Blake. I'm not. I'm doing this to stop hurting you”, she tries to explain but he just shakes his head and takes her hand in his.

“I don't want this, Gwen. I want to be with you. Please… last night was a mistake, it won't happen again.”

She's really using all her strength to not jump in his arms and kiss that sad expression off of his face. But the way he is staring at her… She looks at everything but his eyes, they are full of tears and she's not strong enough to not let them affect her and her decision. “It’s the best thing to do.”

She frees herself from the grip of his hand and walks towards the door. “Can King stay with you for a couple of weeks?”

Blake turns to look at her. “Yes, of course but… what…?”, he wanted to ask her the reason why she can't stay with their son for so many days but it's not his business anymore, right?

“I’ll be honest, Blake. I need some time to work things in my life out. And I love the kids but I'm tired. And I need some days alone.”

“Oh… I…”, _damn, Blake, get a grip,_ “okay, yes, I’ll come pick him up tomorrow morning.”

She smiles grateful before leaving the room. Blake finds himself alone in the office, his hands are shaking and he can finally stop holding the tears.

He just lost the best thing of his life.

 

 

She misses her boys, she really does, but she doesn't regret her decision of taking some time to herself. She always wanted to visit Europe and she finally had the opportunity. The first week passes fast. Italy, France and Spain keep her busy, she sees a lot of beautiful places, tries different and delicious food and enjoys the beauty of the different languages and cultures.

Apollo is at her brother’s, her little one loves spending time with his cousins and he's always happy and excited when she talks to him on the phone and that makes her feel a little bit better. She asked Zuma if he wanted to stay with his brother but he decided to spend the two weeks with his father and she's okay with that. Gavin is everything but a bad parent and she's thankful for that. Kingston is with Blake in Oklahoma and every time she calls the thirteen year old tells her about their excursions and adventures in the nature. She loves hearing him so joyful and carefree. He deserves it, a good dad, a good life.

Blake has answered King’s phone a few times so she has been forced to talk to him and every time she heard his voice, she regretted ending things between them like she did.

She loves him, she loves him with all herself but he deserves better. She hurt him too much. Or at least this is what she keeps telling herself.

Three days before going back to Los Angeles she realizes that something else is missing, not only her boys. She checks the calendar on her phone quickly, a panicked expression on her face. This can’t be real.

“It has to be just a bad coincidence”, she murmurs to herself, scrolling the days and reading fast. “Shit.”

She has missed her period.

 

 

“Dad, is mum coming back home tonight?”

Blake looks at his son and smiles. “Yes, we have the flight tomorrow afternoon but we’ll see her the morning after, okay? You are staying at my place tomorrow night.”

The kid smiles and goes back to comb the black horse. They spend some minutes in silence, the both of them lost in their thoughts, before Kingston’s voice fills the air again. “Do you want to have lunch with us when we are back?”

“Uhm, King, I don't think that would be a good idea”, he says cautiously. “Between your mum and I… things are a little bit difficult right now.”

“Oh”, the kid looks at him intensely, “that's why she was crying the night before leaving?”

Blake stops breathing for a moment. “I… she was crying?”

Kingston nods. “She was in her room but I heard her. Did you hurt her?”

The singer exhales before looking at his son sadly. “Adults make mistakes, you already know that. And I made a pretty big one with your mother.”

“Can't you make her forgive you?”

Blake chuckles and ruffles the kid’s hair. “Sometimes I don't believe you're only thirteen, buddy”, he says, “but yes, I could do that, I just don't know how.”

“Write her a song.”

“What?”

Kingston stops combing the horse’s mane and nods. “There was a very nice girl last year in my class and I wrote a song to impress her. It worked”, he shakes his shoulders, like it was the most normal thing on the planet.

Behind him Blake is staring at his back, his mouth open. “You… I could do that.”

Kingston turns to look at his father and winks, like the man taught him, before smiling proudly.

 

 

That night he can't sleep. He lays on his bed with his blue eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. He misses Gwen. He can't just let her go.

He grabs his phone and opens the notes. Kingston had an amazing idea. He hasn't written a song in a while but he could try again, for her. The blank document is staring at him and he doesn't know where to start. Should he write about how they used to be? About their fights? About their future?

_Just write something._

It’s a moment, a heartbeat, and the words come out in a rush, his fingers typing quickly on the little keyboard and his eyes filling with tears in front of his own words. It's personal, very personal, and not a really happy song, but it's how he feels and he wants to be honest with her. No more lies, no more fights, no more running. Just the two of them and their feelings.

 

 

His heart is beating fast when he knocks on the door. Kingston, next to him, is talking excitedly and his happiness is kind of contagious. Blake understands him, he hasn't seen his mum in two weeks after all, but he can't return his smiles, he’s too tense, the fear of a rejection is visible in his every movement.

When Gwen opens the door, she shows the biggest smile to their son and bends to hug him, her tight grip around the kid and her eyes shining with joy. “I missed you, baby boy”, she murmurs in his ear, still smiling happily.

“I missed you too, mum.”

The kid leaves his mother’s arms and moves towards Blake again before leaving a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, dad!”

He runs inside the house and leaves his parents alone. Blake clears his throat before giving Kingston’s bag to Gwen. “I… did you have a nice time?”, he asks then.

Gwen nods and takes her bottom lip between her teeth. “So, uhm, thank you for taking care of him. You are a good dad.”

Blake smiles shyly, he feels like a teenager in front of his first crush. “I have something for you”, he says suddenly, taking something from his pocket and holding it to her. “It’s, uhm… I wrote this, for you.”

Gwen looks at him with her eyes wide open. “What is it?”

“Just read it.”

Gwen unfolds the paper and immediately recognizes his messy handwriting.

_Go Ahead And Break My Heart_

“A song? Blake…”

The sun is setting on your last good try,  
_Here I am again with half a goodbye,_   
_Wonder if you're really gone this time,_   
_Just when I'm about to lose my mind._   
_There you are again on my phone,_   
_The moon is rising and you're all alone,_   
_Maybe we could just hang a while,_   
_Maybe we can make each other smile._   
_Oh no, here I go,_   
_Why don't you go ahead and break my heart?_   
_Why are you waiting, is it way too hard?_   
_If moving on is what you wanna do,_   
_Why don't you do it?_   
_Why don't you do it, baby?_   
_You can't tell me that we'll still be friends,_   
_And maybe someday we can try again,_   
_If you really need a brand new start,_ _  
Why don't you go ahead and break my heart?_

The tears are running free down her cheeks. The words are digging a deep hole in her heart, leaving her panting for air. “Blake…”

“Kingston gave me the idea. I wrote it on my phone two nights ago”, he explains, his words trembling, “and I wanted to send it to you but… I didn’t want to scare you off, and I know you said it was over but… Gwen, I want another opportunity.” He takes a deep breath. “We both made mistakes, we both hurt each other, but I love you Gwen, I love you with all my heart, and I can’t let you go like this. I need you.”

“Blake…”

He stops her. “Please, give each other another chance. We deserve it.”

“Blake… I have to tell you something.”

  
  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Anna, for making me start writing again. La distancia separa cuerpos, no corazones.

“I think I need to sit for a moment.”

She knows she shouldn’t but she chuckles softly, taking his hand in hers and guiding him inside of the house. She makes him  sit  on the stool in front of the  kitchen counter and caresses his forehead with her long fingers, his skin hot and soft under her hand. She fills a glass with water and hands it to him.

“You are pregnant?”, he asks in a whisper.

“That’s not what I said, Blake”, she takes a sip from the same glass, “I haven’t done the test yet. And the chances  of me getting  pregnant at forty-seven are very low. But I’m late. And I never am.”

Blake  stares at her, his mouth slightly open.

“Say something?”, she holds her breath waiting.

“I… I thought you were mad at me”, he says then, looking confused at her.

“I am, I mean… I don’t know. What if I’m… Damn it, Blake.”

He stands up and takes a step towards her. “I don’t want this to be the reason why we get back together, Gwen. I want you to forgive me, like really forgive me. And I want you to be sure of what you want because I do, I’m really sure about what I want now. And I want you.”

She stares at him. “I don’t want to get hurt again”, she murmurs.

“I…”

She holds her palm in front of his face. “And I don’t want to hurt you again  either . You are too important, I…”

“Gwen, listen to me for a moment, will ya?”, he watches her  nod and smiles. “We hurt each other pretty  badly , we already know that. But we can’t just forget what we had only because we are scared. You said it’s better to leave things like this to not ruin them even more. But what if we won’t ruin them? What if we’ll only make them better?”

Honestly, she never really wanted to end things between them. And she still doesn’t. She wants him. She wants to have a life with him, a family. “We have to be honest with each other”, she says suddenly, studying him. “And stop running. We are done running.”

The smile he shows her next is enormous, all white teeth and happiness. “Is it a yes?”

“It’s a yes, but… we are taking it slow, okay?”

He just can’t contain himself so he bends a little to hug her tight, inhaling her scent in a deep breath and  then leaves  a soft kiss on her hair. “I missed you.”

She smiles against his shoulder and nods. “I missed you too. I’ll never leave you again, okay? Never. I swear.”

He looks at her and wipes the tears off her cheeks. “I believe you.”

“Do you want to have lunch with us today?”

“I’d love to”, he replies freeing her from his grip. “Are we ordering in?”

“Hey!”, she hits him playfully on the chest, “I know how to cook, okay?” He laughs and she just needs another hug because damn, she loves when he laughs and loves his hugs even more. She can’t believe  they’ve  wasted all these years missing and hating each other. “Todd is bringing Apollo over in a hour and I have to go to Gavin’s to pick Zuma up.”

“Hey, why don’t we go to that park near the beach and have a picnic all together?”

She smiles at him, loving the way he always thinks about including her kids, even the two that are not his, in his plans. “That would be amazing. Zuma loves picnics”, she says thanking him with her eyes. “Okay, let’s cook something.”

 

  
  
“So, how is it going with King? He doesn't want to talk about it”, Gwen asks the country singer while cutting some vegetables. “I’m just scared we didn't face the things well, maybe we should have asked for help? Like calling an expert or someone.”

Blake chuckles quietly before stopping spreading the jam on the bread. He takes Gwen’s hand in his, making her stop using the knife. “Hey, we did great, okay? He’s amazing. And he’s been amazing with me. We spent two weeks together and we had the chance to  get to  know each other better.”

 

 

_ “Hey, buddy, what are you thinking about?”, he asks looking concerned at his son. “I thought you liked it here?” _

_ King exhales rubbing his eyes. “This place is great, dad. I just miss mum.” _

_ Blake takes some steps towards the kid, smiling softly in his direction. Kingston is amazing. He always acts so mature and strong but there are moments, especially when he is tired or upset, that you can truly see him, the way he puts on an adorable pout and crosses his arms in front of the chest, or the way he talks when he’s excited, like a kid on a sugar rush. “Your mum loves you. She just needs some time to rest”, he tries to explain cautiously. Only thinking about Gwen makes his heart ache. _

_ “I’m not mad at her, dad. I just want mum to be happy”, he replies with a low voice. _

_ “Hey, why don’t we go out and look at the stars while we talk? The sky is amazing tonight.” _

_ Blake opens the door of his ranch and walks into the night followed by the thirteen year old. “I wish mum could see this place.” _

_ The man doesn't say anything, he can’t help but let his mind wander. He smiles sadly and thinks that Gwen already saw that place.  _ _ So  _ _ many years  _ _ ago _ _ , when they both were young and innocent. And in love. _

_ He lays on the grass and waits for Kingston to do the same. “Do you see that one?” he points to the Big Dipper and chuckles, “the big one… well, the one near it, small but very bright, that’s Sunflower.” _

_ “How do you know the name?”, Kingston asks astonished. _

_ “Because it’s mine. I mean… your mum’s. I bought it for her. When we were younger.” _

_ Kingston is looking at the sky with his mouth open. “Wow”, he exhales. “ _ _ You bought her a star! _ _ You really loved her.” _

_ “I still do”, he says before stopping himself. Fuck. _

_ “I really want you two to get back together.” _

_ “I want that too, little man, trust me. But hey, let’s talk about you tonight, okay? There’s something I want to ask you, King.” _

_ The kid turns his head to look directly into his eyes. He nods and waits, biting his bottom lip like his mum does every time she is nervous or impatient for something. It’s true, King has Blake’s big blue eyes and most of the time he acts like him, but he does some things that are signed by Gwen Stefani. His eyebrows furrow in a way that reminds Blake of Gwen, his hair  _ _ is  _ _ straight and not curly like his, and his smile has the power of making everyone who looks at it happy, like his mum’s. _

_ “Dad?” _

_ The gentle voice brings him back to reality. “You never really told me how do you feel about this thing. About me being your dad.” _

_ “It’s cool”, the kid exclaims and Blake smiles. “I always wanted to know my real dad. And when mum told me it was you, I was happy about it. I like you a lot.” _

_ Blake promised himself he wasn’t going to cry but damn, it’s not easy. “I’m glad you are happy. I’m happy too, King. You are an amazing son. The best I could ever wish for.” _

_ Kingston is smiling happily and Blake can’t help but show him a big grin in return. “Why don’t you have more kids? You told me you have been married for a lot of years”, he asks then, curiosity having the best of him. _

_ “It just didn’t happen”, the man replies, the smile quickly disappearing from his face. _

_ Kingston moves and lays his head on Blake’s big and comfortable chest. His little hand is splayed on the country’s belly, following every movement that his breathing causes. “I’m happy to be your son, dad. Really happy.” _

 

 

“He really said that?”

He encircles her with his arms and nods. “He did”, he murmurs, his eyes shining with joy. “We talked a lot during the past weeks. Got the chance to know each other. I’m so lucky, Gwen. So lucky.”

She leaves a sweet kiss on his chin. It’s the first time her mouth touches his skin after their passionate night two weeks  ago  and he shivers, leaning against her a bit more. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Blake. So sorry about everything.”

He takes her hands in his and plays with his fingers. “Hey, we already talked about that, okay? Let’s forget about the bad things of the past. I only want to focus on us and the kids right now, okay? Only positive thoughts.”

She nods and shows him a shy smile before using her tiptoes to reach for his mouth with her own, the height difference making it a little bit difficult. “Can I kiss you?”, she asks in a whisper against his mouth, her breath hot against his skin and her lips brushing his a little.

He can’t find the words so he just nods, blushing a little and closing the distance between them. The kiss is about to become more passionate when the doorbell interrupts them.

Blake sighs and leans his forehead on hers. “Damn”, he murmurs making Gwen chuckle.

“It’s Apollo”, she says before leaving, a stunned Blake behind her, his lips craving for her taste. “He will be so happy to see you!”

He takes a minute to calm down before following her to the door, where she is already talking to Todd and holding Apollo in her arms. He smiles at the kid and  a second later the toddler jumps from his mum’s arms and runs towards Blake, a big smile on his little face. “Blakey!”

Blake chuckles before bending to lift the kid up. “Wow, Apollo, you are so heavy! I missed you, buddy”, he murmurs and the little one snuggles into the man’s neck.

Gwen is looking at them with an expression of pure adoration on her face. Todd smiles and greets Blake with a friendly handshake, before turning towards his sister once again. “Glad to see he’s back in the house”, he says and Gwen rolls her eyes at him. “I have to go, let’s have dinner  all together next week, ‘kay?”

Apollo is babbling excitedly when Gwen closes the door behind her brother and Blake is paying attention to him like he’s saying the most important things in the world. He’s so natural with kids, it makes her heart melt. Thinking about kids…

She leaves the two of them, three when Kingston comes downstairs running to greet his little brother, and goes to the kitchen to take her phone, opening the calendar app and looking at the dates once again. She really should buy a test.

Wow. What if she’s pregnant? She’s forty-seven, will the baby be okay? How will the other kids take the news? Will her and Blake really be okay?

The country singer finds her like that, her eyes full of concern and the phone held in her shaking hand. “Gwen?”

She winces at his voice and lifts her head to look at him. “The kids?”

“I told King we are having a picnic, he’s helping Apollo to get some things ready”, he explains, approaching her carefully. “Are you okay?”

“We need to buy a test.”

Blake stops breathing. Right. Her ex wife, mother of his kid, and now almost girlfriend again, may be pregnant with his baby when they are almost fifty  years old . Wow. Like he could forget something like that.

“We’ll stop at the drugstore after the picnic, okay? Don’t worry, everything will be alright”, he says, before capturing her with one arm and leaving a sweet kiss on her hair.

She nods, almost believing him.

 

 

Zuma is excited when he sees him in the car, waiting for them in front of Gavin’s house. He runs towards it with the biggest smile on his face. He jumps in the car, greeting Blake with a kiss on his cheek and infecting his brothers with his enthusiasm.

“Picnic, really?”, he asks once Blake tells him where they are going. “That’s super cool!”

Gwen drives them to the park, the sun is up in the sky and the day is perfect to spend some time outside. Blake had an amazing idea.

She turns her head towards the country singer and finds him smiling at her, his dimples always having the same good effect on her. He lays a hand on her knee while she drives, squeezing a little bit and making her chuckle.

They spend the day like that, having fun, enjoying the meal and acting like a family. She actually feels like they are a family. Blake doesn't make any difference with the kids, he doesn't privilege any of them, he plays football with Zuma and King between the trees, holds Apollo in his arms and helps him  eat , lies with all of them on the grass and cuddles with them during the quick nap they take.

Gwen can’t stop smiling, she feels good, like she hasn't felt in a very long time. She thought that she had forgiven Blake too soon, that she had jumped in another relationship with him too fast, but it’s not like that. They deserve this. And honestly,  keep  running from each other would only have made things worse. She can see that now.

“Are you having fun?”

She turns towards Blake and smiles affectionately, noticing how his curls go wild in every direction without his hat. Apollo stole it and now he’s wearing it proudly, the hat too big for him and covering his eyes when he runs.

“I am”, she finally replies, taking a deep breath and enjoying the fresh air. “But we should start getting things ready to  go  back, it’s almost dark.”

She’s right, it’s almost dark and the man didn't even notice it, too busy playing with the kids. Now that he thinks about it, he feels tired. “Wow, my back is killing me. How can I take care of a baby if spending some time running around with the kids tires the hell out of me?”

Gwen is staring at him with a sad smile on her face. “Yeah, how could you?”, she asks  sarcastically , her voice bitter.

“Gwen… I didn’t mean like that”, he tries to explain, sounding really regretful for what he just said.

The woman is not mad. She just… maybe they really are too old for a baby.

“I understand”, she says quickly, too quickly, before starting gathering some things from the grass and putting them back in the bags. “Let’s go, okay?”

Blake can only nod and keep looking at her for some seconds, before helping her with their things. “Hey, buddies, let’s go back home, it’s late.”

The way he says  _ home _ makes her shiver and  yes,  maybe they are old, but they are in love, and that’s all that matters.

 

 

“Wow, they haven’t  fallen asleep that quick in ages”, she murmurs, closing Zuma’s bedroom’s door behind her.

“Well, they spent the day running and playing football, I think it’s normal.”

She smiles and walks towards her room, followed by him. “Do you want to do it now?”

He plays with his fingers, the silence awkward around them. “I don’t know, Gwen, I just… I’m scared”, he admits in a feeble murmur and she stares at him.

“I am too.”

He takes two steps towards her and uses his hand to lift her chin. “Can I kiss you?”

She’s taken aback by the question but doesn't say anything about it, she just nods and watches him  bend his head to finally,  _ finally,  _ lay his lips on hers. The contact sends a shiver through her spine, her head starts spinning and damn, she needed this.

Gwen opens her mouth under his, giving him a better access to her hot cave and inviting him with a soft touch of her tongue against his. The kiss is passionate, they both crave for each other’s taste and their heartbeats are fast under their chests. “Blake…”

The singer’s mouth leaves her lips to place a serie of kisses from her jaw to her neck. He finds her sweet spot in a moment, the spot that makes her legs tremble like jelly, and sucks, hard, accepting with pleasure the moan that leaves her lips against his ear.

He gently pushes her back against the door of her bedroom, closing it with her body. Her hands run through his curls and he smiles against her skin, blowing hot air against it and causing her goosebumps. “Blake, bed.”

Her voice is demanding and he doesn't want to let her wait, just because he doesn't want to wait himself. He wants her too much.

After some maneuvering, he lays her gently on the bed, wiping the blonde hair off of her face. “You are beautiful”, he murmurs, leaving a hot trail of kisses from her cheek to her ear, where he stops to take her lobe between his teeth and biting at it before licking the light pain away.

The clothes are gone in a moment, Gwen is reduced to a panting and squirmy little thing under his big and strong frame when he starts worshipping her body with his mouth and hands, from her little and full breasts, to her flat belly and down to her hot centre, where he finds her wet and waiting for him. While caressing her clitoris with his tongue, he pushes a finger inside of her, making her moan and exhale under him. He spends long minutes taking care of her and bringing her to the edge of the pleasure with his talented fingers and tongue.

She is biting her bottom lip hard to not scream, the pleasure overwhelming and so strong that forces her to close her eyes, making her see stars behind her eyelids.

“That was…”, she can’t finish the phrase, her heavy breath preventing her from talking more. “ C'mere ”, she murmurs then, making him smile at her, his lips and jaw shining with her juices.

“Are you… prepared?”, she asks blushing and looking at him from behind her long eyelashes.

He curses under his breath, making her chuckle against his cheek. “It’s okay”, she says then, nuzzling at his nose with her own. “I’m already late, so.”

He laughs and in a quick but gentle move he is inside her.  _ And he feels home. _

 

 

“Why didn't she want kids?”, she asks, her limbs heavy and tired from the two amazing rounds of sex they just had. Her head is lying on his chest and she exhales happily, stroking her fingers around his nipple and making him shiver.

His arm is strong around her body and she feels safe in his tight grip. His hand is gentle on her hip and he is drawing imaginary lines on her skin with his thick fingers.

“She never really told me why. She just… didn’t like them, I think.”

“Well, I’m glad we have a son together, Blake. He’s amazing. And you are amazing with him”, she murmurs before leaving a long and soft kiss on his chest, right on the skin that trembles because of his heartbeats.

“What if you are pregnant, Gwen?” She lifts her head to look at him in the eyes, her lip between her teeth once again. “What if… I’m not good enough for him?”

“Already assuming it’s a boy? I already have three, Blake, I think I deserve a girl now”, she chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. “You will be perfect, babe. Like you already are. With all of them. Apollo adores you and he almost calls you ‘daddy’. Zuma thinks about you like you are some kind of superhero. And King…  to  King you really are a superhero. There are no words to describe how much that kid loves you… and he only really met you a few months ago!”

The tears are hot on his cheeks and he sniffles against her hair, her words hitting him like a wave of emotions. “I…”

She lays a kiss on his wet lips and smiles against them, murmuring sweet words and caressing his nape with her long nails. “Are you ready?”

He can only nod and look at her getting up, taking something from her bag and running inside the toilet before closing the door behind her.

After four minutes, the longest of his entire life, she comes out, a giant smile on her face and the stick safe in her hands.

He stops breathing. “Did you see it?”

She shakes her head and jumps on the bed near him, positioning her pillow against the headboard and laying her back on it. She waits for him to do the same and smiles tentatively at him. “Ready?”

He nods and looks at her hands, her fingers still hiding the result from their eyes. “Three…”, he starts counting.

“Two…”, she continues, her hands shaking visibly.

“One.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly loved writing this story and I can't believe it's already over. I really hope you guys liked it. Thank you to the fandom, that has been amazing to me since I joined it. Thank you to Anna, that has never left my side, never, not even during the hardest days.  
> Enjoy the last chapter.
> 
> Fede.

_Her hips sway with grace under his palms, her perfume is intoxicating his every sense and he can only swallow in front of her beauty._

_“You know my name but I don’t know yours”, her whisper makes him smile shyly._

_“That’s because you are the hottest girl of the school and I’m… just Blake”, he mumbles, his cheeks redder than usual. And he’s sure it’s not because of the warm room full of people._

_“Well, just Blake,”, she chuckles, “I’m glad you asked me to dance.”_

_He decides to be honest, because he really doesn't know how to act in front of her. Not when she’s standing so close, at least. “I thought you were gonna say no”, he admits._

_“I waited for you to ask me all night long”, she murmurs against his neck and he swears he feels the butterflies in his belly go crazy and fly wild inside of it. “Do you… want to leave?”_

_He stares at her brown eyes, so pure and sincere, and nods before following her out of the school. The cool air greets them and he exhales deeply, his blue eyes scanning the area around them._

_“Do you want to walk with me, just Blake?”, she asks looking at him and he can finally see an adorable blush coloring her soft skin right under her eyes._

_“I’d love to.”_

 

 

_“Are you sure we can stay here?”_

_“This place is mine, Sunflower”, he murmurs in the dark, tightening the grip around her hand. “Don’t worry, it’s safe.”_

_She nods at him, her eyes shining in the night. She follows the sight of his big frame ahead of her and lets his hand pull hers with a gentle_ _grip_ _. “I’m not scared”, she murmurs then, playing with his fingers to distract herself from the silence that is surrounding them._

_“Sure”, he chuckles, his southern accent thicker in the night. “Wait here”, he says, stopping abruptly, freeing her hand from his. “I have something for ya.”_

_“You kidding, right? You leavin’ me here? Alone?”_

_He laughs, the sound deep and beautiful, before taking a step back towards her and lifting her chin with his long fingers. “You have nothing to worry about”, he murmurs against her lips, smiling softly in front of her eyes full of fear._

_She can only nod and watch him walk inside of the big property, his steps secure and fast. Barely a minute_ _goes by_ _and he’s out again, her eyes, now used to the dark, can easily recognize his shape on the patio and she follows him there, paying attention to the two little steps and reaching for his hand with her own. He takes it and pulls her against him, smiling against her forehead._

_“Here”, he murmurs, holding a paper to her._

_“I can’t read anything, Blake, it’s too dark.”_

_He presses his lips on her hair in a quick kiss. “It’s a certificate. Of adoption.”_

_“Wha-“_

_He sees her panicked expression and chuckles. “Not that kind of adoption, baby. I adopted a star. For you. And called it Sunflower.” He points at the sky behind her and she turns around slowly, her eyes wet with happy tears. “The little one near the Big Dipper. Right there. That’s Sunflower. That’s for you.”_

_She holds her breath for a moment, laying her back against his big and comfortable chest. “I love you, Blake”, she murmurs then, her words just a whisper in the night._

_She never told him. And he never told her_ _either_ _. It’s been two years and she thought they were too young for this. Too young to fall in love. But she was wrong. So wrong. She turns around again, lifting on her tiptoes to kiss him. “I love you. And I’m ready to show you.”_

_He blinks, his mouth dry under hers. “Are you… Gwen… We never…”_

_She takes his hand and walks inside, Blake speechless behind her. She is ready. Ready to give him everything she has. Ready to love him. Ready._

 

 

_“I can’t believe you said that to my mother!”, she yells, her voice full of anger and frustration. “You have no chill!”_

_“Chill?! What the hell, Gwen?! She asked me if we were ready to have kids! We are twenty-three, for goodness sake!”, he shouts back, the vein on his neck throbbing furiously under her gaze._

_“She meant in the future! But you panic every time someone says the word ‘baby’ and didn't even let her finish the question!”_

_He shakes his head before taking a deep breath. “What if I don't want kids, Gwen? Did you ever think about that? Did it ever cross your mind… that maybe I don’t like talking about them because I don’t want them? Not now? Not ever?”_

_She lays a hand on her belly in an instinctive move. “Well”, she says after a moment of silence, “I want kids. A lot of kids. So you can get the hell out of here and find someone who_ _doesn't_ _want them!”_

 _She_ _shuts_ _the door of his room in front of his face and he blinks. Take a deep breath, Blake. Don’t lose it, don’t… “I won’t get out of here because this is my house, for goodness sake!”_

 

 

_“I have something for you”, he says, his excitement palpable in the air. “Close your eyes, will ya?”_

_She nods and does as he asked, taking his hand to not fall over some obstacle she can’t see. “Where are we going?”_

_“We are almost there, Sunflower”, he replies, squeezing her hand._

_They walk for some minutes before stopping, her eyes still closed. “So?”_

_She’s biting her lip, her impatience eating her from inside. He chuckles at the sight of it and bends a little to kiss the swollen area. “Stop torturing your beautiful lips, sweetheart. We are here.”_

_She opens her eyes slowly. “Blake?”_

_He takes a key from his pocket and uses it to open the door of the house they have in front of them. “Welcome to our new house”, he says then, looking at her and waiting for a response._

_She is speechless. Literally. She looks around for a moment, observing the little garden behind them and the street in front of the pathway. “You bought a house? For us?”_

_Her smile is big and he finds himself smiling back at her. “Well, I haven’t finished paying for it yet, but… yes. I did”, he plays nervously with his curls and she chuckles softly in front of his clumsiness. “Do you like it?”_

_Gwen covers her mouth with her hand. “Blake, this is…”, she throws her arms around his neck and jumps a little to encircle his hips with her legs. His hands find home on her lower back and she exhales happily. “I”, she kisses him, “love”, another kiss, “it”, she finishes before capturing his lips in a long and passionate kiss that has his toes curling in pleasure._

_“Do you want to see inside?”, he asks against her lips and she nods, her grip still tight around him._

_Gwen lays her feet back on the floor and walks inside of the house, followed by Blake. He shows her the big and cozy dining room, the kitchen and their bedroom. The smile never leaves her lips and he feels his heart filling with joy at the sight of it. “And that room is for you and your band, so you can invite them over whenever you want to and work on new songs”, he explains pointing at the door beside her._

_She is about to thank him, again, for the millionth time since they walked into the house, but she stops when she sees another door behind her boyfriend. “Blake, why is there another room?”_

_He smiles proud before taking her hand in his. He opens the door and she finds herself looking at the empty room, similar to the other ones but with blank walls instead. “Why are these walls not painted?”, she asks glancing at him._

_“Because this is the room for our baby. And we’ll paint it when we’ll know the sex.”_

_She stops breathing. “Blake… you said…”_

_“That was some years ago”, he stops her, already knowing what she was going to say, “and I’m not saying that I’m ready now, because I’m not, we both aren’t, but we will be, some day. I want to have kids with you, Gwen. I want to have a family. And I already know I’ll have it with you because you are the woman of my life.”_

 

 

“Gwen…?” He doesn't remember when he stopped breathing but he knows that he needs to inhale some air right now or he could faint in any moment. Gwen is frozen in place near him. “Say something? Please?”

“What are we gonna do now?”, she just asks and he turns his head to look at her. Her eyes are full of tears and her mouth is slightly open in shock.

“I don’t know but, hey, aren’t you happy?”

She takes a deep breath and plays with the stick in her hands. “I’m… I’m very happy, Blake. I’m just… scared.”

He passes an arm behind her back and holds her tight against his chest. “I’m very happy too… and scared. But we are gonna do this together, okay? Slowly, step by step”, he says, trying to reassure her. A little smile appears on her face, finally, and he smiles back, all dimples and cuteness in front of her teary eyes.

“We made a baby”, she murmurs then, making his heart stop inside of his chest. They did.

“Another one”, he adds and she laughs, a beautiful and free laugh that sends a shiver through his spine. “I can’t… we are forty-seven.”

She looks at him from under her eyelashes and chuckles. “We are. But I look younger than you.”

“That’s right”, he bends his head to kiss her and finds her lips waiting for him, soft and open under his, ready to kiss him back.

“You said you wanted to take things slow, and I agreed, but I have to say this, Gwen, I really have to say this.”

She gazes him suspiciously, a little and cute frown forming on her forehead. “What?”

“I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped. But I love you, more and more everyday. Even when we fought, when we didn’t see each other for years, when we were with other people. I loved you in every moment of my life.”

She can’t stop the tears and, honestly, she hates him for always reducing her to a crying and emotional little girl but his words just hit her in the deepest part of her already fragile heart. How can she be mad at him? How can she make him wait, after all these years of running and hating, after all this already wasted time? Their love can’t wait anymore. They are meant to be.

“I should leave, it’s late”, he says, shifting uncomfortably on the bed and showing her an awkward smile. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning?”

She knows she should just let him go but they already made love three times, why can’t he spend the night at her place? She grabs his wrist in a fast move and smiles in front of his curious eyes. “Stay. We don’t have to… I mean, I just want to stay with you tonight”, she says after a moment, feeling the heat coloring her cheeks.

He reaches for her neck with his hand and uses it to pull her closer before leaving another long kiss on her lips. “Okay. I’d love to.”

She gets up and goes to the toilet, closing the door behind her.

She just needs to… She takes a deep breath and stares at her reflection. Why are things so awkward between them right now? Where is the magic? She feels nervous. And she’s pregnant. At forty-seven. She needs to call her doctor first thing in the morning, that’s for sure. And maybe they should wait a little bit before telling people. Just to be sure that everything is alright and that they are back to normal.

She has an idea.

She takes some minutes to herself to get ready for the night and then goes back to her room, where she finds Blake waiting for her. She’s about to tell him that he can use the toilet when he speaks. “Do you feel weird?”

She nods, of course he felt something was off. “Maybe… it’s just that everything is happening very fast, and that’s scaring, but we’ll get used to it”, she says.

“Yeah, you are right… I was thinking…”

“We should go to Oklahoma.”

“We should go to Oklahoma.”

They say it at the same exact moment before exploding in a laugh together. They are back.

 

 

“Mum! You are gonna love it here!”, Kingston exclaims happily and Blake chuckles behind her. Of course she is. This is her home, after all.

The country singer is carrying Apollo who is holding onto him with his little arms firm around the man’s neck.

She hasn’t been here in years. Thirteen years. When Blake’s private plane landed at the little airport of Oklahoma, she had found herself shaking a little. Once outside of the plane, the air had hit her on the face, like the place itself wanted to remind her all the things that have happened there years and years before.

She had taken a deep breath and started walking with her sons around her, happy and already loving the nature around them.

Blake had tried to reassure her that everything was going to be fine, but she just couldn't relax.

“Gwen?”, the man’s voice brings her back to reality and she shows him a little and insecure smile. She is not okay, not right now. “Why don’t we go to the ranch and get some rest before going to my mother’s?”

Oh, great. She almost forgot his mother knows everything about what happened between them in the last few months. And she has to face her, today, after thirteen years. Only thinking about it makes her head spin. Life in a little village is different from life in the city. Everyone knows everyone, they know everything that happens, they don't forget. And that’s what scares Gwen the most. She is sure some people didn't forget the way she left, especially Blake’s mum.

Once inside of the ranch, she lets the memories run free in her mind, smiling softly in front of the fireplace. The first time they made love the fire was crackling happily near their bodies, and its light was the only thing that was enlightening the room and making her see Blake’s frame above her tiny body.

Everything looks so different, but at the same time she feels like time didn't pass at all. Blake is studying her in silence, his eyes never leaving her body, and the kids are respecting their mum’s silence, waiting by Blake’s side.

Kingston already knows the place and shows his room to his mum and his brother, telling them that he and Blake decorated it during the weeks they spent together. Blake, of course, thought about Zuma too and decided to put another bed for his son’s brother. When they tell Gwen, she looks at the man with all the love of the world shining bright in her eyes.

Apollo is asleep in Blake’s arms and he goes to his bedroom to lay him down on the bed. Gwen follows him and smiles at the scene in front of her. Apollo doesn't want to let go of Blake, his arms just won’t free his neck from their grip, and that’s why the country singer decides to lay down with him, whispering sweet words in the kid’s little ear.

After some minutes, Gwen joins them and decides to take a nap. She feels tired and she doesn't know if it’s because of the pregnancy, because, honestly, it’s only been two weeks and she’s not sure that it could already be that, but her limbs feel heavy and she just wants to close her eyes for a moment.

“What’s bothering you?”

The man’s thick accent forces her to open her eyes again, after only a few seconds, and she exhales deeply before looking at him. Apollo is asleep between them, his belly moving regularly under Blake’s big hand, and she doesn't know how, but he understood everything without even asking her first.

“You know”, she murmurs.

“My mother won’t be a problem”, he says calmly, “she has never been mad at you. And when I called her yesterday she was okay with it.”

Gwen shakes her head. “I just don't want to ruin things between us again, Blake.”

Her words are barely a whisper and her tone is so sad and full of regret that he finds himself holding his breath. He’s realizing only now how much it costed her to leave him. How much she hurt herself doing what she did. He’s about to say something when she stops him before he can even open his mouth.

“I never wanted to leave. But I felt so… oppressed. And you were having a lot of success already while I… I was just your girlfriend, nothing else. Then we got married and things got even worse. People wouldn't stop asking me when we were going to have kids and it was just too much. I wanted to sing, Blake. I wanted to become someone, like you.”

“I was no-one when you left, Gwen.”

“I know. But you were on the right way. I was just… Blake’s woman.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “And that… wasn't enough?”

“It was everything to me, Blake”, she replies quickly, afraid of hurting him again with her words, “but it was becoming too much. And I wanted to make music, so bad.”

Blake exhales deeply and she closes her eyes. Why did he forgive her? She’s not good for him. Not enough. He lifts his hand and covers hers with it, gently playing with her thumb and caressing Apollo’s hair with the other one. “I wish I could have helped you.”

“You are too good, Blake. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that, Gwen, please. You deserve me and I deserve you. We deserve each other. And the life that is waiting for us. Kingston, Zuma, Apollo, and another beautiful baby that I still can’t believe we made together.”

She chuckles and wipes a lonely tear away from her right eye. “We have the first visit next week.”

“I know. Are you excited?”

“I can’t describe what I’m feeling right now. I feel… blessed.”

 

 

If you ask Gwen now, she would say the same exact thing. Her life is a never stopping roller coaster of emotions. She loves her family, her career, her friends. She loves everything about her life.

She loves the way her husband, all grey hair and sweet smiles, wakes her up in the morning, she loves the way he hugs her during the whole night, his breath hot against the back of her neck and his arm strong and firm around her body. She loves the way he makes her feel like the hottest woman on the planet even during the worst days, even when her hair is a mess and her face is contorted in a tired expression.

She loves her kids. Kingston never stops amazing her. She just can’t wrap her mind around the fact that he’s not a baby anymore. Sometimes she finds herself staring at him and wondering how did the time pass so fast without even realizing it. He’s the man of the house. And every day he shows a new side of himself that is all Blake and Gwen can only accept the fact that her son is all his father. But she has nothing against it. Because Kingston has the best father in the world.

Zuma, on the contrary, is her son and hers only. He has nothing of Gavin, _thank god,_ but he’s starting to use a funny accent, especially when they’re home, that she really doesn't like but she won’t say anything about it because Blake looks prouder and prouder everyday, happy that the kid is so in awe of him that he wants to have everything he has, even his accent (and the curly hair but Gwen is not going to change her son’s hair because, first, he’s too young and, second, his son’s straight hair is perfect the way it is).

Apollo calls Blake _daddy_. Has been for a while now. He started during those days in Oklahoma. One moment they were all playing with the horses and the next one Apollo was calling for his _daddy_ and asking him to lift him up because he was tired. He’ll never forget Blake’s face. His mouth has literally stayed open for a whole minute before he had found the courage to look at her and ask her for a sort of permission with his eyes that he really didn't need.

And then there’s Lily. Lily Cleopatra Shelton. Their daughter was a _gift from God._  Blake doesn't believe in God as much as she does, but he was the first one to call her like that. Her pregnancy has been hard and risky, but their families and their friends have helped them a lot. She has been forced to leave The Voice and the network had replaced her, but she honestly has no regrets. She loves Lily, she loves everything about their daughter. Her eyes are blue like her father’s and her hair is so adorably curly that she loves playing with it while she’s nursing her or just spending some quality time mother-daughter.

She wrote a new whole album which is going to be released soon. When she told Blake, he had been as surprised as her. Because she was pregnant. And exhausted. But he had been happy for her, like always. And super supportive, of course. They even wrote a song together but that is their gem for now and nobody else’s. They aren't ready to share it. _Go Ahead And Break My Heart_ is her favorite song ever. One day she had found herself continuing the song that Blake had written to her. They finished it together. And the final result was perfect.

Lily is turning one in a few weeks and Gwen can’t believe it’s been only two years since Blake and her met again. She’ll never forget that day, that meeting, at the studios, where she had laid her eyes on the love of her life after thirteen years of distance.

“Hey, Sunflower, could you help me? Please?”

Blake’s voice brings her back to reality and she smiles softly at the sound of it. “Yes?”

“I need help”, he replies, his words muffled by the hand that he is keeping in front of his mouth. “I don’t like this song’s title but I don’t have ideas.”

She walks towards his chair and lays a hand on his shoulder. “Take some time off, baby”, she murmurs in his ear and he shivers. “Lily is finally asleep, we have some time”, she continues, lightly biting his lobe and chuckling against his skin.

“Gwen…”

Okay, she knows this tone. “Lemme see.”

He holds her a paper and she starts reading. _A Guy Without A Girl._

The words are beautiful and deep and Gwen’s stomach tightens in a grip full of emotions. “It’s beautiful”, she murmurs. “But why the _without?”_

“Because I thought I had lost you”, he explains sincerely and Gwen lays a sweet and long kiss on his cheek.

“Maybe you did. But only for thirteen years. I’m here now. And I will always be”, she runs a hand through his curls before bending on the desk to take a pen. “Here, just…”

Blake stares at her in wonder but waits until she’s done with the pen. She gives the paper back to him and smiles proudly. “You are not a guy without a girl anymore.”

The country singer has his eyebrows furrowed but his expression relaxes in a second, an enormous smile coloring his lips, when he reads the new title.

 

_A Guy With A Girl._

 


End file.
